Kara Keough Bosworth is paying tribute to her late son McCoy Casey, who died shortly after his birth, on what would have been his first birthday.
In an emotional Instagram post, the daughter of Real Housewives of Orange County alum Jeana Keough began alongside a black-and-white photo of her son with his eyes closed, “A year ago today, I screamed you into this world. I begged God to let me hear you scream back. Instead, there was silence from you before the “Come on, McCoy” chants started, shattering my heart and completely deflating the euphoria that comes after birth. Earlier that night, I stroked my belly and asked you to come - told you I was ready for you, despite no signs that labor was approaching. When I heard a rubber band snapping sound come from my belly, I excitedly jumped up, thinking it was my water breaking and feeling you’d make your way to us quickly.”
“By the time I realized I was actually in labor, you’d be born 3 hours later. That night, I felt loved, supported, empowered. It was the most wonderful experience followed by the worst ending. Over the next 6 days, I’d have to make a conscious effort to say “I love you” more than I said “I’m sorry.” Both are true, I am so sorry and I do love you so much. On your first birthday, I can’t help but think of the little boy you’d be today,” she continued. “Would you be walking yet? Saying “Mama?” What would your favorite food be? Are you a snuggler or Mr Independent? Maybe both? How many teeth would you have? Who would you be today if our story went a little differently? Those questions don’t help, but I ask them anyway. I know I always will. I’ll love you for all the days of my life, and loving you the way that I do makes me feel like I know God. So I guess it’s true what they say, that grief is next to holiness. Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally. And that grief and love can sit beautifully right beside each other.”
She added, “And finally, thank you for showing me that even though losing you feels dark - it’s also true that with depth comes darkness, like the ocean. And just like the depths of the ocean, my love for you - the love of a parent for their child - it just keeps going. So yeah, it may be a little dark down here.... but it’s deep, too. I love you, McCoy. From my deepest to the Highest. From earth to the heavens and back. We miss you something wonderful. Happy 1st Birthday, Baby.”
Keough Bosworth gave birth to McCoy, her second child with husband Kyle Bosworth, on April 6 at 3:10 a.m., she said in an Instagram post later that month, with their son “weighing in at 11 lbs. and 4 oz., and spanning 21 inches." He died after experiencing “shoulder dystocia and a compressed umbilical cord" during the birth.
“McCoy surprised us all with his size and strength (and overall perfection),” Keough Bosworth wrote at the time, according to PEOPLE. “He joined our Heavenly Father and will live forever in the hearts of his loving parents, his adoring sister and those that received his life-saving gifts.”
The former Bravo reality star went on to say that she was donating her baby boy's organs, reciting the words she wrote for the organ/tissue procurement team to read out in McCoy's honor. The passage ended with, “May angels lead him in. Thank you, McCoy.”
Kara announced on Easter Sunday that she and her husband, 34, are expecting their third child, beginning the caption of her bittersweet Instagram post, “For Christians, for Jews, and for me, this time is a reminder of the death of firstborn sons. Sacrifice. Suffering. Mourning. Grief.”
“Last Easter was the worst night of my life. We held our firstborn son in our arms as he took his final breaths. We spent time in the hell that is watching your child die,” she added. “This Easter is decidedly better. Despite that wretched Easter night, I can't ignore that this day also represents rebirth. Renewed hope.”
Alongside the emotional message was a trio of photos featuring the couple's five-year-old daughter Decker Kate as well as an Easter basket for the baby on the way, which included a rainbow onesie and a sign that read “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.”
“We miss you, Mack-a-doodle. Thank you for sending us this sacred gift. You're a big brother!” Keough Bosworth concluded her post, signing off with a touching message to her late father, Matt Keough, who died weeks after his grandson: “Tell Grandpa that I said he was right. He'll know what I mean.”
Photo Credit: Bravo Media/NBCUniversal
