Wednesday, April 3, 2019

RHOBH Recap: Showdown At Villa Rosa [Episode 8]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.

There’s only four things that happened in this episode and they all have to do with dogs. LVP had her Yulin bill passed, Teddi threw a spin class for Vanderpump Dogs, all the ladies agreed Lisa leaked the Radar Online story and Kyle then had to tell her everyone thinks she leaked the story. 

How much more can we possibly talk about fucking dogs this season? I love the canine species as much as the next blogger but I’d much rather prefer to stick to the drama between the bitches with two legs and not four. 

The fact that Teddi threw an event for the organisation we’ve been talking about all season is amazing advertising for Vanderpump. Her plan for complete and utter domination makes sense now. She took Teddi under her wing with the charity spin classes to promote the business on the show and set up the dog drama as a chance to finally get herself a spin-off for the dog centre. And it’s working. The only thing anyone can talk about all season is this fucking dog shelter and although her manipulative tactics have gotten sloppy, LVP got what she wanted from this season and that was potentially a check for another Bravo spin-off but who the fuck wants to watch a show about people picking up dog shit? This isn’t Animal Planet, it’s Bravo so lets keep it moving. 

The ladies all unanimously agreed LVP leaked the dog story to Radar Online due to the specific wording in the article and the fact that nobody else knew. As much as I think Lisa Vanderpump is a morally corrupt, power hungry, manipulative shrew there was an entire Bravo production team who knew about the drama that could’ve leaked it to the press which wouldn’t be the first time a producer leaked a story to start drama. However the thing that made me realise this was Vanderpump (or one of her Pump Puppets) was that she would’ve wanted to leak a story to get ahead of any drama before the new season started and begin her campaign months in advance, which seems to have worked for all you diehard Pump Puppets out there who ride hard for her even though she’s been caught in her web several times this season. 

The thing that made it even weirder was how she spoke to TMZ immediately trying extra hard to look like Mother Theresa and defend Dorit when she hadn’t even spoken to her “friend” about the scandal. She was trying to get ahead of the drama and she definitely played a role in the story getting out there, isn’t her advice to Rinna about leaking stories enough? The most eye opening moment was Harry Fucking Hamlin breaking down the propaganda LVP and her gay minions are constructing. Lisa Vanderpump isn't pulling all this shit to directly target Dorit, she’s creating a fracture in the group, hoping to destabilise it by making drama so she swoop in and save everything. She’s literally Hitler just minus all that holocaust stuff. Harry Hamlin broke the entire situation down in two minutes and described what’s been in front of our eyes for the last ten years so I hope he got lucky that night but knowing Rinna and her bush he would’ve regardless of his propaganda revelation.  

LVP ditched her own Vanderpump Dogs spin event to stay in and watch her bill get passed. Yes, that’s such a big achievement and she should so proud but I also don’t give a fuck. For someone who claims to have never spoken to Bottom Blizzard before they seem to have an amazing relationship and he definitely loves any and all attention he can get. Blizzard literally squirts anytime a camera walks by and the way he almost creamed his jeans when LVP was flexing her British humour onto him was a rough moment. What do we have to do to never see Blizzard again? And Sessa is not that interesting either. LVP ditched the spin event for two reasons. 1) she’s 75 years old and could’ve broken a hip and 2) she didn’t want the Johns being questioned about Puppy Gate and possibly fucking up their story. 

After Dorit, Rinna, Erika, Teddi and even Denise woke up to the idea that LVP had leaked the dog story, Kyle sat there knowing Vanderpump definitely played dirty but had to ride the fence to somehow defend her fellow OG. Their relationship sucks, LVP treats her like shit but Kyle stays around defending her when she knows she’s wrong because she doesn’t want to lose her friendship with Lisa and half of her fans. However, after Kyle looked like an idiot at lunch defending Vanderpump, Kyle and her Boy George hat decided to make their way over to Villa Rosa. 

Vanderpump opened her weird glass front door and greeted Kyle in an overly happy mood which seemed faker than her forehead, it wasn’t just a jolly, nice mood it seemed to be a medicated mood? If we went into the Villa Rosa medicine cabinet I think we’d definitely find some uppers with Vanderpump’s name on it. After they exchanged pleasantries over the dog bill, Kyle told her the general censuses of the group which just caused Lisa to lie through her teeth and deny planting the story. Carole Radziwill thought me WaterGate was not about the crime but about the cover up, and the cover up of this Radar situation is what incriminates LVP. Of course she would leak one thing to Radar and then say the opposite to TMZ publicly, she’s been doing it for the last decade. 

We’ve seen LVP pissed off in the past but we’ve never seen her YELLING and as much as I loathe her general presence I liked seeing this feisty side of Lisa, I almost thought they were going to get in a physical fight for a second which would’ve been the only thing to make their altercation better. The entire ordeal seemed weird and like Lisa had been practising it in her room when Kyle was on her way over. As she began swearing on her children’s lives and denying any involvement, Ken came out of his coffin and finally woke up for the first time in about three years to show Kyle the TMZ story on his computer, get in her face and act like a total pig. If you’re a cunt, you’re a cunt and aggressively yelling at women who don’t agree with his wife is a pattern we’ve seen many times before. Where’s Yolanda, Kim and Brandi when you need them? Of course there’s people who say they love how passionately he defends his wife but he can defend her from the other room in his head. 


The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 9 airs Tuesday nights at 9pm/8c on Bravo!

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