Monday, November 12, 2018

Married To Medicine Recap: BBQs, Biscuits, And Birth Control [Episode 11]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.

Bravo really did Married To Medicine wrong by putting it on Saturday. It's disrespectful and these medical miracles are delivering too much to just be used as a placeholder on a night where nobody is looking for appointment TV, and now the cast members can't even whoop it up if they want to live tweet. Atlanta Housewives airs at 8 on Sunday, couldn't they keep M2M in the 9 pm slot because with that lead in the ratings would've soared. This is just another example of Bravo's poor decision making lately and they need to be better. 

Fresh from Mariah breaking her glass like a mobster and Heavenly throwing chairs around, the HUQ, his hair transplant and wife stormed off from the dinner which made Mariah start complaining that no one defends her against Heavenly's yo mama slams. They are both petty and they are both wrong. Mariah talks about Damon and Heavenly talks about her mother because they know it will set the other off. Both of the ladies can't complain about their families being attacked when they are attacking the other's family, their beef is great TV, however, they need to start taking their own medicine. 

The next morning the men had a cookout on the barbeque while the women sat in the pool. Toya ghosted CONE-Tessa by not acknowledging her existence and Cone complained about Toya not texting her after she knew she had injured her. Can someone stab me? Just fucking stab me right now. CONE-Tessa is looking for tits on an ant. Not only is she accusing her of intentionally popping her titty but now she's getting mad she didn't get an apology text? If someone said I hit them in their new boob on purpose the last thing I would be saying is "I'm sorry"." "Fuck you" seems like a much better choice. 

Cone always winds Toya up by throwing out an accusation and then acting overly shocked and calm when Tacky T starts to retaliate and pop off. It's gaslighting in it's highest form, she's trying to make Toya look crazy when she's the one who started, I don't know if it's out of practice from her military past or if she's just an asshole but CONE-Tessa loves to throw the rock and then sit back like she did nothing. She's so thirsty for a fight with Toya it's pathetic and now she's even using her new boobs to start a war. 

Toya stormed off which then caused Mariah and Heavenly to start up. Those girls only need to say two words to one another to make the other break a glass or storm off. They are both wrong. I don't know how many different languages I can say it in but neither girl is right. How has it been four years and the girls still have to tell Heavenly not to say yo mama? This is who she is, so Mariah needs to stop taking offence and giving in, Heavenly's saying it for a reaction, so the Budget Tamar needs to let any and all yo mama comments slide off her shoulders. And I do not need to see their husbands fight, men feuding on reality TV is so boring and the producers shouldn't have even wasted our time with that mess. 

After they had a feast in their villa, the medical miracles had dinner in a very elegant courtyard? I think. How did Toya (the producers) find these places, is there a brochure about the top 10 places to film a reality show in Antigua? Due to this trip being hosted by Toya the dinner table discussion was of course about sex, however, all we learned was that Daddy likes Heavenly to put his dick in her mouth and Simone is a basic bitch in bed before Toya started having a rampage about nothing. I  don't know what she was carrying on about but somehow she always manages to fight with Eugene about biscuits on vacation but it wasn't even a biscuit, it was more of a bread roll. 

Toya needs to stop getting her baked goods confused, a cookie is a biscuit, not a bread roll. She stormed off from the table screaming and after Simone managed to calm her down she returned blaming birth control for her outburst. Toya, for future reference this is not the group to lie about the side effects of birth control. Clearly, there was some kind of hormone situation going on, or maybe it's just Tacky T's time of the month? I'm not sure but she sat back down at the table and made up with CONE-Tessa. Is this bitch bipolar? One minute she's having a tantrum and the next she's singing kumbaya. She also addressed Mariah and Heavenly's beef which made the former storm off from the table because she feels no one defends her and she doesn't fit in the group.

Ugh. They are both wrong. Mariah is a professional victim, since season one we've seen the wannabe nucleus of the group shade every single one of her cast members but then sulks and complains when they throw the same energy back at her. Playing the victim is in Mariah's DNA but no one cares enough to give into her diva demands. Mariah kept suggesting she may be done with the group but that's all for dramatic effect. Mariah Denise Huq, no Denise isn't her middle name, climbed her way back onto the show she got fired from and had to have four unannounced comebacks before she finally became full-time again. She may have lost a weave or two along the way but she's finally back and she isn't going anywhere. 

Although Mariah stormed out to get attention the rest of the group had a great meal. I do feel for Mariah to an extent because the other girls don't seem to care about her as much as they care about each other. It's like she's outside of their sisterhood but alienating herself from the group and shading all her cast members in her confessionals season after season isn't going to fix things. I thought Mariah and Dr Aydin were going to get on a plane and have a dramatic departure that night but instead, she took her red wig and booked a luxury boat for the group. This medical group FINALLY had a nice boat to lay out on after six seasons and if the Saturday timeslot doesn't prove they are treated as a second-rate Bravo show then their track record and lack of luxurious sea vessels does.

Toya and Heavenly had the exact same boating outfit on but, of course, Tacky T's was a little sluttier. How do these reality stars always end up wearing the same things? Was it a set up by the producers? Are there only four stores in the whole of Atlanta? I need answers. Not too much happened on the Love Boat, Jackie talked about too much testosterone causing girls to have clits as big as a small penis which is the scariest thing I've ever heard. Does it just poke out? Does it need to be circumised? I'm confused but something tells me Cone's clit is very oversized. 


Married to Medicine Season 6 airs Saturday nights at 9pm/8c on Bravo!

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Photo Credit: Bravo

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