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RHOP Recap: Can't Hide From These Green Eyes [Episode 12]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of

The climax of Gizelle and her monotone sidekick Robyn arriving at Karen's event planning to cause some drama was slowly crushed when the Grand Dame Deficit swiftly kicked them out when she realised there would be some drama attached to their arrival. 

Kicking someone out of your event is as Karen Huger as having a bad wig and a messy lie associated with every explanation, which is why the resident tax evader is my favourite of the Potomac bunch, even if I am blocked on Twitter. 

Even in her own Alzheimer's event held by gay royalty Carson Kressley, Karen had to have some kind of confusing scandal attached to the event by asking her guests to make their checks out to her company and not the Alzheimer's charity so that she could then take the checks and donate them herself. Ummm. Does that make sense in anyone else's minds or is that wonky wig squeezing her head a bit too tight? Either she was looking for her own tax write off or she was looking to add some of her friend's money to her own bank account to fund her new perfume line. Whatever her motive was - it was messy. Karen has zero self-awareness or any shame because if you've gone three seasons on reality TV making shit up and lying out of your wig then she must be believing her own bullshit by this point because if Karen wouldn't even reveal how much she raised for the charity, even after she tallied up all their checks, then their money definitely went to funding her wig collection and not to help those with Alzheimer's. We see you Miss Huger, and even though I have Bugs Bunny 20/20 vision, I'm not mad at her. Delusional and Karen go hand in hand and Potomac wouldn't be Potomac without the Great Falls injection. 

Aside from her messy event nothing much really happened. The Green Eyed Bandits are still running around with their propaganda for Karen and Monique, and even though lots of their facts are true and I morally agree with everything they are saying, I just cannot let himself support two girls that are so boring and hypocritical. Sorry bandits! They've officially converted Little Miss Messy Ashley over to their stale team because like a chipmunk she's crawled all the way up their asses and is storing nuts for the winter. Speaking of the spring chicken, her eggs are going to scramble if she stays with her kangaroo of a husband. Michael said he wouldn't have children with her because of the way her mother neglectfully raised her which is the worst excuse I've ever heard for not wanting to procreate next to liking the feel of condoms. If Ashley was raised that way wouldn't she want to parent her child differently? Her Uncle Lump, Candiace and everyone with an IQ above 30 could see that Michael doesn't want to have kids and came up with a lame excuse to appease Ashley. He's nearly 60, do you really think he wants a toddler running around, shitting everywhere and crying all night long? No, Michael wants a young mixed person (we've seen those Grindr receipts) to suck his dick and be his trophy, person. 

Miss Messy needs to run for the hills if she wants kids because unless she starts poking holes in condoms and going off her birth control she's never going to have an Aussie baby up inside her, but for all we know Michael probably got a vasectomy to stop that from happening anyway. She's still young enough to start again and be a young mom but she needs to leave now because if she stays any longer those eggs are going to dry up and all she's going to have is dust coming out of those ovaries. These are facts people. Yes, God bless Janet Jackson for popping a child out at 50 but not everybody wants to be almost 70 when your child is graduating from high school. It's so sad to watch and I'm actually worried not just for her baby-making skills but also for her mental health because she couldn't even see his manipulation and BELIEVED his dumb reason for not having children. Lucky Uncle Lump gave her a talking to. 

The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sunday nights at 8pm/7c on Bravo! For International TV Listings, click here!

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Photo Credit: Bravo