Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.
The fourth annual Berkshires Christmas trip is upon us and just like the three previous instalments, it delivered. No trip will ever outdo the legendary season eight three-part saga where Bethenny annihilated the Countess and Dorinda gave us the epic drunken one-liner "I made it nice," but this year we got a pretty solid episode and of course Bethenny was in the middle of all the drama. Blue Stone Manor and Bethenny Frankel just do not mix. For anyone wondering, the official Berkshires ranking goes:
1. Season 8 (Bethenny vs Luann)
2. Season 9 (Bethenny vs Ramona)
3. Season 10 (Bethenny vs Carole)
4. Season 7 (Heather vs Bethenny's fish allergy)
With that aside let's jump into the episode. In light of all the drama surrounding Blue Stone Manor in past years, Dorinda decided to turn the event into a murder mystery party which is just an excuse for the ladies to dress up in the standard Housewives Great Gatsby attire and drink alcohol. The women arrived at staggered times and Bethenny rocked up in an ugly Christmas sweater with snowman which read "Chilling with my Snowmies." Get it, because they're snowmen? The Skinnygirl managed to find a way to be mean to Ramona about the shirt because The Singer Stinger didn't get the joke but as a 60-year-old white woman who lives on the Upper East Side it would be funny if she did know what it meant. Normally I'm #TeamBStrong but Bethenny just has an intense hatred towards Ramona for... asking about her "soft porn career. (?!) All I know is that if Ramona said HALF the things about Bethenny that she says about her then Miss Skinngirl would bring it up endlessly at the reunion.
After all the women arrived and Ramona finished playing with her snowglobes, Dorinda laid down the two rules for the Berkshires weekend. No bossing her housekeeper Len around and not to destroy her property, so basically, the ground rules were just for Ramona and Sonja. By the way, why did it take FOUR trips to the Berkshires for us to find out about the cuteness that is Len? They should make her a quasi-friend of the Housewives because I'd rather see her rock up at parties or cleaning under the sink than Missy try to get herself an apple. With the rules of engagement out of the way, the group then got glammed up in headbands, lace and feathers for their Murder Mystery themed party. The gang all had fake personalities for the game which were just the same bitches but in a different decade. Dorinda wanted to enforce prohibition, Tinsley was a trust fund baby, Carole was a politician who smoked, Sonja was a horny accountant, Bethenny "was the brains behind the operation," Ramona was someone named Ladybird and Luann was a man with a French accent. It's just the RHONY in 1920.
The Murder Mystery male actors arrived much to Ramona and Sonja's delight because they can smell out semen from a mile away which makes me 85% sure that at least one of them was in Sonja by the end of the night. The murder mystery party was pretty boring. Ramona instigated drama between the actors, Bethenny passive aggressively shaded her for it and Luann came downstairs drunk and mumbled out a bad French accent. In other words, it was just a Tuesday for this group. The actors died and after Luann gave one "mouth to mouth," she's a nurse remember, Dorinda admitted to killing the men so that they could shut the fuck up and eat dinner. Although two men died in the duration of the game, the night was full of tragedy, whether it was talking about Heather Thomson's unairconditioned Berkshires abode or the death of Bethenny and Carole's friendship.
After seven episodes of passive aggressive behaviour with one another and bitchy confessionals, the two former besties sat down to hash out their issues. Like Erika Jayne, Bethenny has Zero Fucks Syndrome which is a rare disease where you pretend to care about nothing when you actually get pissed off at the smallest things and harbour resentment for three months about it before you explode. Bethenny has a much less severe form of ZFS but it's definitely evident in her beef with the wannabe Carrie Bradshaw of the group. Carole asked B about the tension in their relationship and if it was about Adam not going to Houston or if she didn't contribute enough to her charity but like any good politician, Bethenny didn't actually address the issue or the question at hand. Instead of having a conversation about Adam not wanting to work for free, she attacked the minute details of Carole's retelling of the story whether it was how she contacted Adam or what day he was supposed to work which was both frustrating and confusing. Whether it was an email, a phone call or a Saturday or Sunday, who gives a shit. Deal with the overarching issues, not the stupid intricate administrative details.
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