Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.
It finally arrived, the final episode of the season and I couldn't be happier. It's no secret that I've been disappointed in the boring nothing burger that we were delivered for the previous 17 episodes and while the finale had it's moments, it was definitely as plain and dull as the rest of the season.
We began with Dorito's swimwear fashion show where all the ladies spent a good portion of the night giving Miss Kemsley a rim job for her high end fashion designs. As much as the accent confused Housewife annoys the fuck out of me, the pieces were actually really good and if I were Lisa Rinna I would want a free one too. All the bathing suits are named after her fellow cast members with the exception of Teddi & Camille, which is shadier than anything that's happened this whole season.
Speaking of Saint Camille Grammer, she got engaged to her silver fox boyfriend David (?) I think that's his name but it could be Buttfuck and I wouldn't know the difference. Has anyone else noticed the common thread of "friend's of" the Housewives shows getting engaged in the last episode of the season? Danielle in Jersey and Eva in Atlanta also announced their engagement in the finale of the last season's of their shows, which is actually a smart move for trying to snag a full time position for the next season with an engagement storyline. Smart thinking ladies, talk about a hustler.
After Dorito's flashy fashion show, the ladies toasted to her success and the drama wasn't far behind. When I say drama I don't mean D-R-A-M-A, I mean petty, over talked about, Beverly Hills drama. Ugh, it's the worst. Kyle was still upset that Dorito accused her of riling up Erika about PantyGate last year. She felt the Beverly Beach designer was trying to put a wedge between her relationship with the Pussy Patter in order to get closer to her. That makes a lot of sense but I don't know if Dorito is that smart, I think she was just trying to throw anything she could to try and come at at Kyle with a very weak comparison of the situation. I'm astounded that Dorito could even remember that far back to PantyGate because we all know her memory isn't her best asset. Maybe it's the bathroom coke?
As per usual, Dorito couldn't own up or admit to any wrong doing and all the other women were acting fake as fuck, particularly Erika who wasn't confirming that Kyle wasn't the person who got her mad about PantyGate. That's what annoys me about Miss Jayne, she never shares her opinion about anything because she doesn't want to cause drama or rock the boat and then after three months of keeping everything inside and not saying anything, she explodes on an unexpecting bystander who triggered her with a random sentence. As a result of Erika's silence, Kyle stood up and took her extensions and birkin bag out of the party because she claimed that everyone was kissing ass and not being honest, which is EXACTLY how I've felt this whole season long! Did it take her this long to figure it out?
I thought the episode was going to end with Kyle's storm out, but no that was only the first part. We also had to sit through LVP talking about adopting a dog that looks like her husband, Kyle & Teddi exercising and Rinna making excuses to her husband Harry Fucking Hamlin about not being engaged in the drama this season. Lisa is one of the only women that I can actually stand to watch on this show but I'm not buying that "life's too short" crap for a second. She was the scapegoat and drove the entire plot for the last THREE seasons and after years of being blamed for everything by LVP and her dusty muff, I think that she refused to be the only interesting one on the show. Hopefully "Old Rinna" comes back, but I'm not mad at her for taking a step back this season because it is a massive passive aggressive FUCK YOU to Lisa Vandercunt, and I appreciate that.
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Photo Credit: Bravo
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