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RHONJ Recap: When Chairs Fly [Episode 9]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of

Every real housewives fan knows that the POSCHE fashion show is always the biggest event of the season. We haven't had a major brawl occur for a couple of years but tonight's episode threw us all the way back to 2011.

Siggy and Dolores turned to up the big event ready to get their makeup down when Kim D burst into the room with ecstasy (the feeling, but who knows, maybe the drug as well) and was ready to spill her faux tea when she saw the cameras rolling. Siggy told her about the explosive dinner the night before and let her know that all the girls hate her, which made Kim continue to spread her Teresa propaganda. Apparently Kim's shady hair dresser was at a club and saw Tre hugging a guy. Does that mean she's rekindling old flames?

Meanwhile the Charlie Angels + one, were getting their hair and makeup done so that they could crash the infamous event. These Jersey girls went all the way out, Margaret even used rollers and then pigtailed her hair. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of pigtails? The girls rolled up in their SUV and were ready to give Kim D the old Italian shakedown. It felt like I was watching The Sopranos or something.

Teresa was the first to walk in the room and it was game on. Tre confronted Kim over the cheating rumours and The D literally said that she makes up the rumours because she feels like it. At least she's honest. Suddenly everyone just started calling each other trash, dirty bitches and any other mean adjective they could find. This was premium trash talking time. Kim D obviously couldn't resist the temptation to bring up Teresa's jailbird past and that was when Margaret started screaming like a banshee. Good on you pigtails!

Somehow in the five minute fight, Tre found the time to spell out what POSCHE really stands for: Piece Of Shit Coke-whore Homewrecker Everyday. Damn, that was an iconic line that will go down in housewives history, but it makes me sad because it was obviously fed to Tre by a quick thinking producer. Tensions started to rise and Kim D left before she got her weave pulled which caused Teresa to flip a chair. What is her vendetta with furniture? First she's flipping tables and now chairs? Kim started threatening to call the cops if Teresa hit her, which probably would have been the only thing to make this fight more dramatic.

After the piece of shit coke-whore home wrecker left the room Tre started going in on Siggy and Dolores for continuing to walk in Kim's show. She was obviously pissed that her friends were allowing Kim to film with them and giving her a platform to spread her lies. Before I knew it Dolores and Melissa were in each others faces yelling and suddenly the Charlie's Angels + one walked out in a puff of smoke. Did they seriously get that dressed up just to shake someone down and leave after 10 minutes? At least they got a free drink out of it. Siggy and Dolores also strutted their stuff and walked in the show while the other girls went over to Marge's and bitched about the them.

The episode still had another 30 minutes but that POSCHE fashion show took me out. I had to spend the rest of the episode trying to get my jaw off the floor. To sum up, Siggy and Dolores had lunch with Frank Catania who told them they should have stood up Tre but the dynamic duo said that Sneaky Margaret and Crazy Danielle had kidnapped their friends and they couldn't speak to them.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Wednesday nights at 9pm/8c on Bravo! For International TV Listings, click here!

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Photo Credit: Bravo