Thursday, December 21, 2017

RHONJ Recap: Fauxpology [Episode 11]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.

The girls split off into two different groups to continue their job of advertising everything that Milan has on offer. Melissa, Danielle and Siggy went for a bike ride around the streets of the Italian city while Danielle complained about her big vagina.

Are you telling me this woman isn't a Prostitution Whore? After their ride the girls drank wine in a park in the afternoon which is the perfect thing to do in Italy. The other ladies tried to make The Sig realise that she hurt Margaret's feelings but the super Jew just agreed to make any waves at their dinner that night. That's not what the viewers want to see.

While the ladies were day drinking Teresa, Dolores and Margaret were making home cooked Italian food with this random chef. How did they even find this guy? The girls went to get ingredientses (bless your heart Teresa) and the chef oddly made Marge put eggs in a bad. Is that really how they do it over in Italy? The gang went back to the chef's house. Umm RED FLAG. Didn't they just meet this guy? Stranger danger. Teresa smashed the meat so hard that she chopped up the board. Damn, I knew she was sexually frustrated but I didn't know she was this horny!

After the meal "was cooked by the women," the rest of the cast rocked up to this random chef's house and they ate the meal. This scene was like an episode out of The Twilight Zone. Every was laughing and giggling after they had literally thrown glassware at each other the night before. Margaret was uncomfortable as fuck and couldn't be her funny self when she was having dinner with a woman who called her an anti semite the night before. Margaret got the courage to apologise to Siggy about her Hitler comment but Miss Flicker just sat there blankly and sipped her wine. This is like a telenovela or something.

The next day all the women were getting ready for another full day of Milan promotion. Danielle tried to talk to Siggy about Margaret's apology, while Dolores tried not to kill herself from being within five metres of Danielle. Once again Dolores showed that she is the only person with any sense and didn't want to take life advice from an ex-cartel member. Does ANYONE remember A Cop Without A Badge?

Danielle and Margaret headed over to the shoe factory which looked like a messy sweatshop. They couldn't have cleaned up a bit for the cameras? Marge tried to turn a guy straight before she realised that these shoes were too expensive to make with this company. Does that mean there was no reason to go to Italy. Yawn.

Teresa and Siggy went somewhere to pray and the relationship expert tried to find the silver lining in Tre's prison stint. She said that at least her kids got to spend more time with their grandma before she died. I guess that's good? The girls then argued about if it was worse to be called Soggy Flicker or an adulterer and Teresa had NO idea what that meant. They didn't reach a resolution but I don't think either is important because Soggy is just a bad nickname and Kim D has no creditability at this point. Let's be real.


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