Thursday, November 30, 2017

RHONJ Recap: Walking On Broken Glass [Episode 8]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.

It feels like 30 years since we last saw the Jersey Housewives, but in reality it was only two weeks. The girls picked up where they left off which was Margaret doing her perfect Soggy Flicker impression. The Sig retaliated by whipping her pigtails out but it didn't receive the laughs from the crowd that Margaret's did.

Siggy and Margaret reconciled their differences and The Marge did apologise for the Soggy Flicker comment because of the bullying ties that it connected to Siggy. Melissa also jumped around pretending to be Siggy (or Soggy), but they hugged and put their beef in the past.

Next up was Danielle who surprising chose to talk about her beef with Teresa, rather than Dolores who had suggested that she was a drug addict the night before. I couldn't stop laughing when Danielle was crying about being bullied for Teresa calling her a prostitution whore, I know it's not funny but it gave me SNL vibes. Teresa apologized but I don't think she released or cared about what it meant to Danielle. She also got roped into apologizing to Danielle's two grown daughters as well.

After the girls had healed, they got super dressed up just to sit in a room with Siggy and her lawyer friend and talk about their biggest issues. Margaret talked about her struggle with her step kids that refuse to talk to her, Teresa talked about the resentment that she feels about Joe because she thinks he is the reason she went to jail and Dolores used the therapy time to plug her own dog charity event. At least she knows how to make a hard sell.

All the Jersey girls got back from their therapeutic retreat and they were as "close" and connected that they've been all season and all their beef seemed to have subsided. Teresa headed over to Siggy's house where she told her to channel her inner Soggy and abandon her old Italian ways of not feeling emotion. I can't remember the last time I saw Teresa cry. Maybe at Marge's memorial in Boca? Or was it with her dad in Puerto Rico? I guess Teresa cries more than I think. Siggy also spilled the tea about how her butt pellets are making her horny af. Good for Siggy.

Dolores had her dog event which should have made all the girls feel better about themselves by not being the only bitches in the room. No tea, no shade. Danielle tried to be extra and bring her dogs in a stroller. Ugh. She needs to take her engaged ass back to the Miami cartel. While Teresa was doing her best to pretend like she wasn't scared of dogs, Melissa told Siggy about how Danielle thinks her makeup with Margaret wasn't genuine but Siggy has no fucks left to give when it comes to Danielle. #TeamSiggyFlicker

Over at the other end of the park Margaret was saying that even though she knows that Danielle was been a troublemaker in the past she thinks that she is being a true friend to her now by saying that Siggy isn't being real. WRONG. Danielle doesn't care about anything except Danielle's bank account, sorry Marge! I love the constant drama that Danielle is delivering but I DO NOT love Danielle. No ma'am.

Once Dolores' charity dog day was done, she headed over to the historic site of Kim D's POSCHE fashion store to try on dresses with her bestie. Two of Kim D's son's friends were shot and burned in his car so she decided to donate the proceeds from her fashion show to their charity. Kim is a shady bitch with potential mob connections so who knows if the money will actually make it to the charity. Siggy and Dolores agreed to walk in her fashion show but once their looks were picked out, Kim D was ready to spill all the tea.

Siggy told Kim that Teresa and Melissa weren't going because they don't like her which gave Kim D the perfect ammunition to spread her lies. She said that Teresa rekindled an old flame but Siggy told her that unless she has seen the weewee go into cookie then she needs to shut her mouth. Dolores also debunked the rumors by saying that Teresa has no other flames to rekindle because she has only ever been with Joe. True tea bitch. I didn't realize how much I missed seeing Kim D's messy cigarette stained vocal cords on my screen until she made her comeback. You've got to give credit where credit is due, because has done the most to try and be a full time housewife, but it's never happened.


The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Wednesday nights at 9pm/8c on Bravo! For International TV Listings, click here!

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Photo Credit: Bravo

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