LeeAnne Locken is taking to her Bravo Blog to dish on this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas. LeeAnne Locken talks about her issues with Cary Deuber and reacts to also reacts to Cary's comments about her fiancé.
LeeAnne writes:
"Hey everyone! Saddle up, get on, and hold tight. This ride is a lot longer than eight seconds.
Kameron and The Swimsuit…all I have to say is LOL! Seriously, sometimes when Kameron speaks her mind so honestly, it puts me on the floor in stitches, this time not excluded. I know that moment was supposed to be about Cary’s body, but I think Kam totally stole the scene.
Okay. I cannot wait to get to this, so here we go: vagina + egg = what in the hell?
Y’all, I’m going to get real TMI with you. I’m not even sure I could FIT an egg in my vagina. Also, wouldn’t that be a bit unhealthy if it, you know...if it...didn’t make it out in one piece? I mean, I guess the egg could have been boiled? Why am I even contemplating this? Lol. I will say that listening to Stephanie and Brandi’s back-and-forth about whether or not Steph partook in the egg-vag situation just had me wondering, is anything sacred or off-the-record with these two? Not eggs-actly, I suppose. ;)
In Brandi’s confessional, when she mentioned how she wanted to be a part of a group of friends with no judgment, she really meant no judgment against her. Now, anyone else being judged is totally fine— funny even. I think this allows a look into Brandi’s ongoing issue of feeling “less than” others. This insecurity is ultimately what led to many of our fights last year; she interprets differing opinions or disparate outlooks as a personal judgment against her. This is a problem because it bleeds into her friendships, where she is convinced "judgment" should not exist.
Switching gears, let’s talk chocolate. Sexual Chocolate. Whoa there, pony! WHOAAA. Y’all, D’Andra Simmons’ reaction to the dildo was perfect. It was calm but good-natured, and that’s why I’m so confused about Brandi’s “conservative” comment regarding D’Andra. Brandi calling D’Andra conservative is *hard* (ha) evidence that Brandi doesn’t really know her. This woman has been to places none of the others would step foot in — D’Andra actually goes to some of the hardest third world countries for vacation. Why? Because in D’Andra is a true traveler, a true experiencer, and a humble and interested human in the realities of this planet. We could learn from that — Brandi could learn from that.
Now once the dildo came out, and Kam reacted, I immediately knew there was a problem. Kameron lives in a different world than most, and that’s okay. Her family name requires that she behave in a certain manner. Again, that’s okay. Others need to accept that and stop trying to force Kam into the box they want her to be in. Brandi not only doesn’t understand this but also she refuses to accept it. Once the dildo was rejected by some, Steph and Brandi turned into the "mean girls." That’s when the shenanigans should have stopped. Because, as a rational rule when in a large group, it’s only funny if everyone thinks it’s funny. Kam’s discomfort made me uncomfortable, and that means STOP. Normally, when one cautionary voice (like mine) is drowned out, that’s when another cautionary voice should enter. Ahem. Why did Cary not step in to help out her friend Kameron? Big shrug. So, at some point, it wasn’t about a sex toy; it was about STOPPING the blatant discomfort that seemed to be getting worse and worse.
By no means am I saying that Brandi isn’t funny, because she puts the FUN in funny. But Steph badmouthing Kameron in her interview just wasn’t necessary. Here she is again, not saying how she feels to someone’s face but rather behind their back, where her rep is safe. She needs more sessions with Lori to find her voice, I think.
Something I respected about Kameron was how calmly and rationally she tried to explain to Brandi the much needed boundaries. That’s when Brandi’s insecurity took over and filtered Kam’s words into “you are low class.” Those words never came out of Kam’s mouth nor were they implied in any way. And then Steph only added to that situation, egging it on. Ha, another egg pun — yes!
Brandi and Steph then refused to own up and admit that it was wrong to chase Kam with the toy. It’s just another example of their hypocrisy: not taking responsibility for their inappropriate behavior, but always wanting me/others to own mine/theirs. Even Cary saw that it was inappropriate. I just get worn out from the double standard, like when Steph called Kam the anti-fun patrol. Are you kidding? My Halloween costume was meant to be funny and not offensive, but GOODNESS, they sure thought it was inappropriate, enough to even call me out for it to this very day. Newsflash: this is not Brandi and Steph’s world. Nor is it LeeAnne’s world. If we can’t find a way to respect one another in a balanced way, we're just going to keep having issues.
Back to the beaches. I mean, the beach. ;) Ugh, Cary’s mouth never stops running. “Bet you scared the sh*t out of LeeAnne with that thing.” Excuse me? “I heard he has the world’s smallest penis. Isn’t that sad? It’s embarrassing.” Again — what in the hell?
No Cary, you’re sad. No Cary, you’re embarrassing and embarrassed. But that’s fine. To make yourself feel better, go ahead and use your form of overcompensation by hitting below the belt with girls who pander and eat up whatever you say. No challenge there. Good job! What an accomplishment.
I chose to show D’Andra the ring privately in our room early because I wanted an authentic and genuine moment with a real friend. I think I deserve to be able to express to someone my happiness without the ramifications of judgement from the other girls. Watching D’Andra be so excited gives me goosebumps all over again. This is how much we love each other and have each other’s backs. When you're genuinely this happy for your friend, it’s hard not to see the love. D’Andra is spot-on about what we bond over; we have both been alone for so long that it’s amazing to see us both grounded in real happiness. I told her before we left the room that I wasn’t sure if I was going to share with the group. We both agreed to feel it out a bit.
When I told the girls about my stitch popping, the girls’ faces were interesting. You see, they are so good at making me believe that they truly care about my well-being. I wish that were true. Cary calling this a “reset dinner” after what she just said goes to show the level of "what's good for the goose is not good for the gander,” meaning that it’s totally okay for her to talk bad about me, but if I do it it’s 100 percent completely wrong. I simply refuse to accept her whacked-out view of reality. But by all means, let’s reset before I find out what you said about Rich. I mean, that’s fair, right?
I love how they mentioned the lovely foot massage, with no word about their badmouthing. Hmmmm. The dinner by The Grand Vela was simply amazing. And then BOOM. Brandi goes for Kam. What a freaking buzzkill if there ever was one. It didn’t surprise me when Kam hit back with the strip club comment. Kam didn’t want this argument, but Brandi and Steph sure did, and they got it. It’s just so typical that Steph got offended and bit back. This is what these two will always do; it’s called tag teaming. And it’s not fair. Oh, and Steph? Can you please make up your mind? One week you're crying because you “neglected” your family for Brandi, and this week you are a “damn good parent.” I mean, which one is the real Steph?
SECOND BOOM. Cary craps on Kameron, and now Kam sees the lack of loyalty from Cary regarding their private conversations. Nothing is sacred or off the record with them. This is why I will never trust any of these three women — they don’t even have loyalty amongst themselves! Kameron hit the nail on the head when she said that Brandi needs to deal with this problem of insecurity. TRUTH. Cary then said in her confessional that the deeper issue between Brandi and Kam is CLASS, which goes to show that Cary ultimately doesn’t think that Brandi is as “classy” as Kam. I wonder if Brandi caught that…
LOVE it when Stephanie pops in and says, "Why is she lumping me in with Brandi?" Again, Steph, DECIDE WHAT/WHO YOU WANT. And decide where your loyalties lie! They do not have each other’s backs. Period. The end!
So, when D’Andra tried to encourage me to change the conversation with my engagement, you can see my hesitation. However, in order to stop the circle of destruction, I definitely took one for the team, and thank GOD it worked. For like less than a minute, but still! I loved D’Andra’s toast because I am so grateful for her friendship!
When I mentioned to D’Andra that Cary put the ring on her finger, what I meant was that Cary was the first person to run around the table and say, “Let me try it on!” I don’t know; it just seems like someone who wants something I have? Hmmm.
Thank goodness for “Two Truths and a Lie” to show how much Cary and I do not get along. Not only that, but it showed how those three girls are in it for themselves. I think back to that moment of clarity when Brandi let Cary know that we are all aware that she has not only insulted my doctor but also her doctor. The whole "killed someone on his table" thing finally came out, and it was pretty obvious that Cary panicked and was backed into a corner.
Cary thought she was going to pull out of this by saying, “So what are the truths?” Sorry girl, but there is a left turn being made, and you’re in the wrong lane. The look on Brandi’s face when Cary denied can only be described as stunned and not in a good way. When Cary said that Brandi made it up, well, that’s asking for war with Brandi.
So y’all tell me, who’s lying? What is the truth? Who are the real friends? I can’t wait to find out next week."
What do you think about LeeAnne’s blog?
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Monday nights at 10pm/9c on Bravo! For International TV Listings, click here!
Source/Photo Credit: Bravo