Dorinda Medley: “I Still Value My Relationship With Ramona And Consider Her A Sister”

Dorinda Medley is taking to her Bravo Blog to dish on this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. Dorinda Medley explains why this year's birthday lunch for Ramona Singer was different from years past.

Dorinda writes:

"I’d like to propose a toast! To these girls, all tireless worker bees, buzzing around the city and their social circles, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. Everyone has buzz…that’s what gives a lot of people life — literally. They either keep at it or they fade away. And don’t be fooled by anyone suggesting they’re just a fly on the wall watching us from a lofty perch… The ones who aren't killer bees are killer sharks, and the moment they stop moving, stop preying, stop stinging, they die. No, it’s not because of cameras, it’s because it’s a lifestyle that requires round-the-clock management, tweezers aimed to pinch and prod, and microscopes set to dissect.

This week, it’s a relief to see there’s been a cosmic shift away from ME. I’m not in the crosshairs, but like I said last week, that means Jules is in the hot seat, and this one has been set to ROAST.

Of course, true to the spirit of Housewifery, we had to rehash the Hamptons chitter-chatter just ONE MORE TIME before putting that to rest. Remember: In good, old fashioned Housewifery, there is always a new topic and focus, except it’s rarely an actually NEW topic, just a different angle on it. So by now, you’ve seen that Jules is on the spit, getting turned very slowly. Sonja’s on the back burner, just at a simmer, with Luann on the counter, getting primped and prepped for her day in the sun. This is one kitchen I’m glad to be out of at this point.

Here’s to the girls who just watch! This episode was mainly all of us gathered around different tables, having another lunch or another dinner while chewing apart someone else. We really are ladies who LUNCH! Restaurant encounters in which a person is singled out and examined like some sort of awful bacteria in a petri dish so others can take aim and dismantle. Why, I ask? What’s the point? Do any of us have the time or the right to be so judgmental? Well, clearly yes. Should we? No. Our raison d’être cannot be self-righteousness. No one is perfect, and whoever makes that kind of scrutiny of another’s life and lifestyle their priority or pastime is just out of line and probably a hypocrite. (Ramona mentioned Dirty French in the episode, so I pulled out some French. Enjoy.)

Here’s to the girl who plays wife! I could go into each segment of the episode, but the main story lies in this: Jules does not back down and certainly doesn’t shy away. (Remind you of anyone?) To be honest, I’m not sure Jules’ lunch with Bethenny was the right time to share something so deep. I thought this was an opportunity for Bethenny to apologize for her behavior, explain where she’s coming from, and make nice. Instead, it was Jules opening up, out of nervousness, sharing her vulnerabilities and intimacies. I think it’s ultimately a mistake, because any sign of weakness is a prime target for any kind of overlord.

Here’s to the girls on the go! Ramona runs her life in yearly cycles. Like last year, we’re back at one of my favorite restaurants, Bistro Chat Noir, to see the Cantina Band in 2015 fall fashions. (Bethenny was hilarious on the “freezer” line, because it’s almost true.) But let me be honest, whereas last year I was excited to go, this year, my stomach churned as I entered the room. You know when you’ve had time to reflect on something that’s hurt you, and it just makes you more hurt? Yeah…that’s what I was going through. I was there to celebrate Ramona’s birthday — again — but I had a few thoughts to share.

So many stay stuck in menial bullsh--, doing so much that means so little: expensive clothes, expensive lunches, expensive memberships… What’s it all about, in the end? Nothing really matters… Sondheim’s “Ladies Who Lunch” is pretty much everything, and my idol, Elaine Stritch, made it all STICK. (Read those lyrics and you'll understand.) This was an opportunity to be gracious, sincere, but convey my point about what “friends” really are — even if it was with Ramona’s 50 closest girlfriends. And for doing it off the cuff, I think I did a pretty good job. Not really sure if it was fully understood, of course, but the general feeling and intent was delivered…you got it?

Quite frankly, I’m bored. Bored of the accusations, the speculation, the bad manners, and the joy with which some react to the misfortunes and pain of another. What happened to a good, supportive friendship? What ever happened to class? It’s all schadenfreude. (I’m in a Broadway kick lately, it’s Tony season…)

Here’s to the girls who stay smart! When it comes to your close friendships, whether they’re five or 50, there is often too much history to just throw away over hurt feelings and stupid comments. Some of the comments may be true, some may be false, but the intent is to get a rise out of someone, and that’s not what friends do. Listen, people make mistakes, and it is so important not to look at the parts but at the whole. I still value my relationship with Ramona and consider her a sister, but within that bond, I need her to be my confidant my protector. I need her to be my vault. And sometimes that means she needs to rise to the occasion and have my back. She knows better now, I think. She knows at some point, you just have to rise! But I have to say… once bitten, twice shy. I mean, when you have friends like mine…

Cheers!"

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The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo. For International TV Listings click here!

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