Pettifleur Berenger is taking to her personal blog to dish on this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Pettifleur Berenger weighs in on Gamble Breaux and Gina Liano's freindship and on her heated argument with Jackie Gillies. Pettifleur writes:
Johanna…!
Johanna…!
You hear Lydia call out to the very obedient house friend Johanna, to announce that Figaro is having his portrait painted by her good friend, they discuss Figs pampered shower with Lydia, while Johanna looks on very confused. Figs gets the right royal treatment. I hope Andrew gets the upgraded VIP treatment. Leanna the artist arrives; She has painted Johnny Depp’s dog and Lydia doesn’t miss an opportunity to mention the big name. “Figaro has officially made it” she says proudly. We love a proud doggie mama. Figs is not as obedient as Johanna, can’t blame him
Gamble and Luke are shopping and Gamble blurts out “You weren’t that handsome when you were younger”
Ouch!
Luke not backing down stuck it right back to Gamble “You were a bit ugly, “There was a stage I thought we’d have to call the surgeon” Priceless!
I am not going to rehash what I have already said, however I am really disheartened that Gamble would toss a friendship out the door in and flash and go around bitching about Gina to the other girls and now to Luke saying “Maybe the friendship might be one-sided, true friends stand by you” (As far as I could see Gina has supported Gamble more than Lydia or all the girls put together have supported me). Gratitude is misplaced. Gamble continues “The problem is Celebrity Apprentice is affecting her ego, I think Gina has a large ego, Gina’s public profile has gone to her head “ (yes we all agree Gina has an ego bigger than King Kong). However, not too long ago Gamble was a huge Gina fan and had a lesbian crush on her. The tables have turned very quickly. No doubt the friendship is fragile, hence the reason a slight crack can rupture the friendship into smithereens. When Lydia turned her back on me, I did not run off back stabbing her, in fact I did the opposite. I am a loyal friend, so I don’t understand this behavior. I didn’t join the other women and talk smack about Lydia when they were all sticking the boots into her.
Next, we see Gina in a meeting with Chemist Warehouse, I recall Gina calling herself a post code, now she says “I am a brand, I have my shoe range, I have a few other products on the market” (hey darling what other products?). Ego pumping was in full swing we get to hear about a couple of things Gina’s fans had sent her. (I am sure all of us ladies have received something special from our fans at some point of time). However who has not heard of cacao? Gina.
Susie is running some etiquette classes and judging by the wicked little giggle and cheeky smile on her face, I am pretty convinced she has invited Jackie, as a bit of a stir, knowing very well Jackie does not blend with this type of surrounding and is not comfortable. Was Susie trying to make a point perhaps? Chyka, Jackie and Chessie arrives and the schooling begins. Joan is stern and taking no crap, Jackie likes her beers and a BBQ in the backyard, so she is in for a shock as she is expecting some cocktails, dance music and to whoop it up. No doubt her good friend Chyka knows Jackie’s love for her drinks, only too well, and with a wicked giggle says “I love you Jackie, anytime of the day you’re ready to go.”
It was very peculiar that Susie did not mention the name of the school Joan taught. Straight off the bat Jackie says “I want to ask a question” from Joan, but then she makes a statement “ I think I have been asked to come to this little lesson today cos everyone properly thinks I need some etiquette” (On the money); Chyka’s laugh sums it up.
That question / statement should be directed to Susie not Joan, especially since Susie lured her into something Jackie was unaware was taking place. However Joan shuts Jackie up for the noise she was making at the table. I have never seen Jackie shut up so fast. Jackie could do with a Joan by her side. Clearly Jackie was way over her head. It was mortifying seeing Jackie slurp up her chips when she was dining with Ben, but Jackie gormandizing oysters was hard to watch. Chyka is looking on amused and enjoying every second of this train wreck, while Susie looks embarrassed. No doubt none of the ladies believed that Jackie went to deportment school by the fits of laughter that bellowed the room. I am surprised the glassware did not shatter by the sound.
Even though Nathan has moved out, we are super close and do lots of things together, I wanted Nathan to check out the quality and sound of the piano, so we are heading out to Steinway & Sons in Armadale to purchase a Steinway piano. Even though Nathan is a bit rusty with the song he picked, he plays beautifully along with my other two sons and I get so much pleasure listening to them. Music is love in my household and Nathan has a degree in sound engineering and produces music in his spare time. Considering all three of my children play the piano, I decided that it was time to upgrade the very old piano that all my children have out grown and get a grand piano.
I don’t usually buy my boys what they want. I buy them what they need. I also believe in buying quality, so I couldn’t go past one of the worlds best Steinway. I wanted to see how Nathan and Emily were doing and I asked him some hard questions. Emily is a top girl and has blend well into our family and settled into a mature relationship with Nathan, I don’t want to see a beautiful love like that burn out because they are so glued to one another now and regret in their forties that they missed out on enjoying their twenties. No doubt Nathan is happy and that is the most important. He has found the woman he wants to marry and are in the process of buying their own home. Yes they have a routine, work 5 days a week, they get home hit the gym prepare healthy meals and bed at 10.30pm. Nathan said to me, “Mum I’d rather be doing what I am doing now than being at a club on a Wednesday night partying until 5am.” That’s when I realised I raised a fine young man and my fears of him settling down too young disappeared. I am a happy mum knowing my baby is in bed at 10.30pm and happy in life. It was so nice to see Emily make an appearance, even though I got short changed on spending more time with Nathan. However I know that I need to let go. I am old school and I love using a fountain pen.
I arrive at Luminare and the girls are chatting, One would expect Chyka, the host, would welcome a guest with at least a hello considering she manages events. However Chyka continued her conversation and no one so much as raised an eyebrow as I walked up to them. I know I am small, but not that small to go unnoticed. Even when I gave Susie a kiss, Janet, Chyka and Jackie did not even turned to look in my direction. Actions speaks louder than words and I felt the actions of these women by the reluctance to say hello.
I have no Idea if Chyka, Janet and Susie have a problem with me. The last time I saw these girls they were all okay with me, or at least on the surface. I wonder if Jackie has pulled their strings. Sometimes I feel Janet and Chyka are Jackie’s little puppets by the way they behave.
I had misplaced my son’s birth certificate and needed his passport urgently I asked Jackie very graciously, in private, at a prior meeting if she can help me find the certificate. I knew she had helped Chyka find her jewellery and I believed she could help me. So I decided to give it another try and throw it in, since they were talking about the angels. As soon as I made the suggestion, the girls pounced on me with comments like “Can’t you get another one?” Chyka suggests, Susie is the navigator and says “yeah births, deaths and marriages corner of Elizabeth and Swanston street”.
If you are going to give me street directions Susie, at least get it right. Janet blurts out “send your housekeeper to stand in a line for you” and Jackie says “come on Pettifleur” what does that mean?. Once again, Jackie gets off the hook by the support of the other women and my support is underwhelming. Ghee the girls are such geniuses, I needed their suggestions, like I needed a hole in the head. I explained to the girls (not seen in footage) it had nothing to do with standing in a queue, the cost, having no time or the urgency. It was the fact that my son was born on a certain year and I wanted his original birth certificate to reflect that year, not have a copy that says issued in 2015. I was distraught by the fact that I misplaced his original birth certificate and would never have the year issued on his birth certificate. Surely most of them are mothers and they can understand our sentimental attachment.
When Jackie said “Come on Pettifleur let’s keep. this. real. When I do psychic readings is from the true intend, the love of my heart; This is not something that I… just give for no reason” I didn’t realise that Jackie thinks my request has no reason. This is the second time that Jackie has refused a reading, first to Gamble and now to me. When you are as holistic as Jackie claims to be, wouldn’t you just want to help your friend?
I know I would.
I was relieved when the other girls arrived,even though I had to listen to Gina to talk about herself. However I don’t know whether I should be surprised that Gina was flat out ignoring Gamble or has Gina had a gut full of Gamble’s winning and backstabbing. Either way these two women should sit down and discuss their issues rather than gossiping about each other.
The curtains draw open and I could see Dubai written all over it. It was a splendid moment and I think Chyka had done a spectacular job, everything looked gorgeous. We sat down and Chyka passed out some envelopes and as I guessed it was an invitation to join her in Dubai for a girls holiday. No doubt the tent exploded with excitement and all I could think is “shopping and hot weather in Dubai!”, however Lydia was going to the United States of Emirates.
One thing I found hilarious it was that we were sitting on the floor with cocktail dresses and stilettos in an Arabic decorated themed tent, it was like water and oil but who cares we were all having fun, until… I wanted a straight answer from Jackie and I talked to her about my son’s certificate. Jackie jumps down my throat and says “I am going to stop you there, I am not going to give you a reading. That is the end of the story”. I don’t understand why Jackie is so angry and bitter to all of us the girls, she says Lydia is gossiping about everybody, she refused Gamble a reading, she is talking about Gina and Gamble’s relationship and damaging their friendship. I politely asked her to help me and she was just… rude to me and it is not the first time, she did it at Byron Bay when I was speaking to Lydia, she inserted herself and kicked me off the table, I have no idea what Jackie’s problem is. I invited her to my horse riding as good friends do and now she treats me with contempt.
Jackie says “I can’t deal with the negativity, you put people down” (How am I being negative and how am I putting people down? I am just asking my friend’s help, Jackie’s blown this out of proportion) “I can’t deal with you anymore you are a big punish” seriously Jackie? You are punishing me right now.
After her rant she continues to say “Pettifleur is a punish to me she does my head in. She is a head punish to me” Ghee Jackie I must be a genius if I can control your head, I can sleep like a baby at night knowing you think of me all day all night (must be hard work).
I decided to go and speak to Jackie (once more) to put her psychic powers where her mouth is and give me a reason, she runs away like a bad politician and her mini puppets are blowing smoke up her crack. I don’t understand Janet having a dig at me, is she Jackie’s copycat?. It is like monkey see monkey do. Janet says “Pettifleur is self obsessed (that goes without saying to all of these bunch of women) she never listens (I don’t hear any advice or direction, what is she talking about), she never apologizes” what am I supposed to apologize about Janet?
Jackie says “She said Jackie I feel like you have changed” (I assumes she means Lydia). Then she says to me “you started yapping like a little chihuahua”. All I said was “definitely there was some anger” that doesn’t equate to yapping like a chihuahua or a need for Jackie to shoot me down.
Jackie says nobody asked for my help and it has nothing to do with me and on top of that, saying that I am an attention seeker… has Jackie gone mad, what attention was I seeking?. All I was trying to do is help Lydia and Jackie can’t accept she was rude and disgusting to me.
It is okay for Jackie to have her little puppets support her, but she gets her nose out of joint if I support Lydia. #Doublestandardsmuch.
She is off ranting “don’t try to get into other people’s businesses. Educate yourself, you say you are educated. Listen to your own education, shine away” I don’t understand Jackie’s lingo or her thinking. Is she trying to belittle me?
Jackie you talk of education, but you need a plethora of education, specially in etiquette since one class was obviously not enough.
#Youareallfartnoshit.
Hope you enjoyed my blog, lots of love.
Pettifleur xxx"
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The Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 3 airs Sunday nights at 8:30pm on Arena
Photo Credit: Arena
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