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Recap: #RHOMelbourne Season 1 - Episode 1

The Real Housewives of Melbourne finally invaded America! Even though I already covered the first season of when it aired originally back in February on Foxtel's Arena, I'm going to cover it once again for all the US audiences. If you want to check all the messy drama that went down before, during, and after the first season, as well as Season 2 news CLICK HERE. Warning, it contains many spoilers, so it's up to you if you want to check it out.

Before we dive into the recap, let me just say this: Since I'm the "Switzerland" blogger of the site, don't expect major bitchiness or shade from me, if you want to read those types of hilarious shady recaps, which I LOVE, I recommend you to check out Seth's recaps of RHONJ and RHONY or Josh's RHOC recaps. That being said let's dive into episode 1 of RHOMelbourne!

On the US premiere episode of #RHOMelboune, we are introduced to the ladies from down under: Andrea Moss, Chyka Keebaugh, Gina Liano, Janet Roach, Jackie Gillies and Lydia Schiavello. First let’s start with the taglines:

Gina: "I'll give you my opinion, but you better be ready to hear it!" - this pretty much sums up what Gina is about, the queen bee, love it!

Lydia: "I may look like a jet-setter, but my feet are firmly on the ground" - pretty generic, but good.

Janet: "When life throws rocks, I melt them down into Diamonds!" - I like it, it find it very cute!

Jackie: "My husband may be a rock star, but now it's my turn to shine, shine, shine" - Need I say more? LOVED IT #ShineShineShine!

Andrea: "Never come between a woman and her plastic surgeon!" - very fitting to Andrea considering she is married to one.

Chyka: "My fabulous life comes down to love and laughter, not luck" - I agree with anything that Chyka says, after all she is the voice of reason of the series.

We are first introduced to jet owner, Lydia Schiavello. Lydia is married to her husband Andrew, who is a well known and successful architect in Australia. She loves fast cars, fast jets and her fast husband. Lydia has three children from a previous marriage and has three step children and together they are one blended happy modern Brady Bunch family. Lydia says she is the one that wears the pants in the relationship, however when her husband gets home, she likes to wear his pants and vice versa. During dinner, Lydia tells her husband that she wants a  brand new car, and not just any car but a Porshe convertible, will he give her the car? Guess we have to wait and see. Did I forgot to mention that she has no problem talking about sex?! Next, Lydia meets up with her friends, Andrea Moss and Gina Liano at the Botanical restaurant.

Next we are introduced to Gina Liano, the barrister. Looking good is very important to her, but you won't catch her wearing a track suit, why? Because she doesn’t own one and she never will. Gina’s style can be described as glamorous, sparkly, lots glitter and eyeliner, and she is all about the bling bling. She describes herself as the ultimate drag queen and for that I love her even more, OKKRRR! Gina has a stylist named Tre, he pretty much hooks her up with the latest sparkle and fashionable dresses that only Gina can pull off. Gina has 2 sons of ages 16 and 23. Gina explains that she's raised her kids like any other traditional Italian mothers do, which is by guilt and fear. Gina’s sisters are well known in the fashion industry, they’re both fashion designers. Gina mentioned that the three of them started in fashion together but then she decided to peruse a career in law. Gina calls her herself as a 'professional fighter.' Gina explains that she's is in a long distance relationship, her partner moved to the US about six months ago which makes it hard for their relationship, Gina describes it as ‘geographical impossible.’

Lydia thinks Gina shouldn't limit herself and she should go out with some male friends since her partner is away but Gina doesn't want that. She's all about loyalty, very old school.

Next we are introduced to business owner and doctor's wife, Mrs. Andrea Moss. Andrea lives in Toorak, shops at Toorack, and works in Toorak. Andrea says she feels like she needs a passport every time she is away from Toorak. Andrea is married to one of the finest plastic surgeons in Australia, who is Dr. Chris Moss. Andrea and Chris describe their relationship as a 'team.' They are both business partners and own a skin care clinic, Liberty Belle Skin Centre. Andrea says she tends to avoid bitchie women because practically she doesn't have time for it but if some of the ladies come for her, she is not worried because she never losses. Andrea looks forward for the weekends because it's the time she and her husband spend time with their children. During the weekdays, Andrea is busy running her business and with 3 kids under the ages of 10, she definitely has some nannies that help her. Andrea says she has about 5 nannies that are rotated to help her out every time she needs help. This totally reminds me of RHOBH’s Camille Grammer circa Season 1. Andrea is all about delegating and organization. She gives her nannies a checklist with a to-do lists for the day. Her husband says she is very into organization and because she's an ex tennis coach, he won't argue with her.

Andrea tells Gina and Lydia that she’s planning a cocktail party to promote the new technology at her skin center. They all agree to attend and…

Next we are introduced to Janet Roach. Janet is a successful property developer and according to her, she never washes her own hair. She only washes it when she goes to her hair dresser which is about 4 or 5 times a week. Janet is very open about plastic surgery and she loves botox. I have to say she's delightful, sassy and energetic and I love that about her. Janet is a mother of 2, lives in a luxury hotel during the week and on weekends she stays in her home. You must be filthy rich if you can afford to lvie in a hotel, during the week, just saying. After a 14 year marriage, she divorced her ex-husband because he was unfaithful and she caugh him online dating. Now she’s happily single and she is ready to mingle. Janet refers to her two previous divorces as doing both the practice and the rehearsal.

Next we are introduced to the young, sassy and fun Jackie Gillies. Jackie is a professional psychic who can see your past, present and future and can also communicate to the other side. Jackie just recently moved to Melbourne so she's the new kid on the block. Jackie is married to Ben who is in the rock band Silverchair. Jackie says she communicates with the angels, and according to her, the angles guide her. Jackie has been married for 3 years now and at the moment she has no children. Her husband claims that he cannot get away with anything because Jackie has the power of knowing everything and I say, Go Jackie! Jackie thinks her hubby looks like Johnny Depp, I don’t really see it, but hey whatever Jackie says, goes IMO. Jackie describes herself as a modern housewife, she hates cooking and cleaning so she's on a search for a house keeper to do all the things she hates to do, I love her!

Since Janet is now single, she is looking for some type of direction in her life, so she schedules a psychic reading and heads to Jackie’s house. Jackie says prior to any psychic reading, she needs to be alone  to meditate for about 15 minutes, and uses crystals to help her get rid of any type of negative energy which helps her communicate with the angels better, did someone say crystals? Someone call Carlton from RHOBH! Janet arrives and the reading begins. Jackie says during her readings she talks to her spirit guides, the angels around the person she is giving a reading too and any of the person's deceased family members or loved ones.

Jackie gives Janet a notepad and a pen and tells her to write everything she tells her because she talks fast. Jackie starts writing on own notepad and it’s called automatic writing, and what that mean is, she is taken over by a strong energy, she's the vessel which helps her communicate with the angels to get info. Jackie tells Janet she will get married again and she will move to Victoria. Janet's father comes through and tells her to check on her cousin and to tell the cousin not to drive so fast. Her ex father in law then comes through and tells her to check on her stepson since he is not getting support from her ex husband. Basically Jackie surprises Janet, next the two enjoy a glass of champagne and the two instantly bond. Janet invites Jackie to Andrea's party and wants to introduce her to Melbourne's social scene.

Next we are introduced to event party planner and business woman, Chyka Keebaugh. She is married to her husband Bruce, they meet when they were both 20 years old and they have now been married over 23 years, he's her business partner. They both own three businesses which are: The Big Group which is a catering and event company, The Design Dept. and Capital Kitchen. Despite her lavish lifestyle, Chyka is a very humble person, she is a mother of two and she is the ultimate collector, from handbags to shoes you name it. Next, Andrea calls Chyka and invites her to party, I have to say Chyka has the hottest and most handsome husband out of all the ladies, I think Chyka needs to let me play with him from time to time, he's good eye candy,YUM!

It's time for the Liberty Belle party, Lydia and Gina are the first to arrive, followed by Chyka and then Janet and Jackie. Chyka and Gina meet for the first time and Chyka says Gina reminds her of a Vegas show girl. Maybe is the hair? The bling? or the makeup? All the ladies meet Jackie for the first time, all the ladies seem to be nice at first but it’s only a matter at time before someone throws some shade. Andrea and Dr. Chris Moss give a speech to promote the latest technology on Liberty Belle, however during the speech, Jackie describes the party as "f---ing bored." Andrea says in honor of the party, she and her husband have donated 30K to charity, that’s very nice of them, hopefully next time, they will donate some money to me! 

Then the ladies leave the party and head out to dinner. Jackie quickly gets put on the hot seat as the ladies want to get to know her and ask her all kinds of questions. The subject of pre-nup is brought up, Lydia and Jackie make it clear that they didn't sign a prenup but Gina says she is surprised, she says she knows people who have been dating or been together for years and the family makes them sign a pre-nup however Jackie says her husband loves her and the subject of prenup was never brought up.

Lydia says the only contract she signed was a conjugal contract aka a sex contract, she state that her husband made her sign it. She pretty much attends to him whenever he wants it and all I have to say is, if it works for them the more power to them. Janet opens up about the demise of her marriage and Jackie asks Gina what's her relationship status which Gina tells her that she's in a long distance relationship. Jackie asks her if it’s going to last since it’s long distance and all, but Gina being a good lawyer turns the questions back to her and tells her since she’s psychic she should know more than her. Jackie tells her that she’s going to dump his ass within the next four months.

This is where all the drama starts, Gina then asks Jackie who is "giving" her all of this information, which Jackie responds her angel who is her grandmother. Then Jackie says she is getting a vibe that someone is having an affair, Gina asks Jackie if it's her partner, Jackie simply responds “what do you think?” which Gina replies “yes” and Jackie ends it with “well there you go.” All the ladies seem surprised by that, Gina says that most women get a sense of infidelity however she doesn't get that sense from her partner and it ends there. I will upload the recap to Episode 2 sometime this week. Until then as Jackie would say, "move along, shine shine!"

The Real Housewives of Melbourne airs Sundays at 12:00pm on Bravo

Photo Credit: Arena