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Amber Marchese: "Melissa Knew Exactly What She Was Doing And That’s Causing Trouble"

Amber is taking to her Bravo Blog to dish on this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Amber sounds off on Melissa for stirring up trouble with the twins. Amber says that Melissa knew exactly what she was doing which was causing trouble. Amber writes:

"Oh Te-RESSA... Now a little psychology lesson for you, Te-RESSA. What you are doing is classic displacement. You are displacing your miseries and insecurities onto me and my family. I am healthy, happy, and have an amazing family around me! My faith teaches me “but I say to you who hear; love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-28)

As far as your apology for calling my baby a “f---ing little kid,” I accept it and I always forgive. Shallow apology, but make no mistake, it does not change my feelings. It takes a special kind of ---hole to call a child you know and have hugged “a f---ing little kid” for no reason. I find it a God send that we all got to see that, because that is the real Te-RESSA.

Neither Jim nor I have ever been judgmental of Joe and Teresa. At this point, we hadn't even met Joe Giudice, and had only met Teresa once at our party. We knew of their situation, but still opened the invitation to them without regret.

“The” Cancer

Yes, it must seem that I am really harping on my experience with cancer. At that time it was my five year mark and a very crucial time where there is a possibility of a relapse, and it was greatly weighing on my mind at this point. I was about to do my five year panel of testing to see if I was still healthy and cancer free. This was an extremely hard time and caused a lot of fear and anxiety. Anyone with a serious health condition can relate to this, especially those raising little ones.

Please also understand that while this was my main focus at the time, there is much more to me. You're seeing a very abbreviated version of my life at this point, and I promise that was not the only thing I talked about with people. It was important for me to use this as a platform to get the message out to not only older women, but to the younger ladies, especially in the child-bearing ages. I was lucky to have caught it early enough; however, I was sitting in the chemotherapy chair next to young women who were not so lucky. Their doctors previously told them that it was nothing, they are too young to have breast cancer, and now they are in later stages of the disease.

As far as the other ladies who seem to lack empathy and were annoyed at me for speaking of my experience, I pray that they will never have to go through this. That they will remain blissfully ignorant to how emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally devastating it can be for the entire family. When I became a little emotional (not wailing or crying hysterically) as I saw Teresa with her child, it not only brought back feelings of fear for me, but I empathized with her.


I really enjoyed our night of drinks. I truly thought that we were on the right track of becoming good friends again. I was not “nit picking” as Melissa puts it, I was explaining to Melissa that I was glad she explained the reason for her not calling me. It never occurred to me that she did not know. I am really, really over this subject with her.

The scene at the clothing store was by far one of hardest scenes to watch so far. I cannot even wrap my head around what I witnessed. We will start with Melissa. Melissa asked me in the car how the marriage ended for Nicole. LET ME REAPEAT THAT: MELISSA ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED TO NICOLE’S MARRIAGE. I did not offer this information to her. I told her what others have repeatedly told to me. The account I told came to me from the family that Nicole allegedly did this to. I never had this conversation with Nicole. For the record, Nicole and I were never best friends, we knew one another in town, but got closer when Bobby started to date her. Te-RESSA and I never got that close; I was always more distanced from her. I felt like she had a lot of negative energy.

I did let Melissa know that I wasn't certain whether this story was true or not. Melissa just met these girls only once at my party, yet she could barely even wait until the car was parked before running to the twins and mischaracterizing what I had said. Melissa knew exactly what she was doing and that’s causing trouble. That might be how she rolls, but I want no part of it. Melissa behaved like a child, not like an adult. Our mutual friends warned me about letting her back into our lives. I am still friends with all of them and love them dearly. Melissa feels I changed, well, my friends feel she stayed the same. Melissa loves no one but Melissa and has no ability to be a good, loyal friend. I prayed this was not true, as I try to see the best in us all, but seeing is believing. I am not perfect, so I do expect others to be perfect, but I will not keep vengeful people close to me. My true, close friends are my family. I always try to do what is best for my friends.

At the end of the day, I should not have perpetuated what was said to me to about Nicole, true or not. However, I mistakenly thought Melissa was trustworthy given our history together. I will reiterate what I told Melissa about Nicole in the car was an accurate account of what I was told by multiple sources. I was simply answering Melissa’s question.

Now onto Nicole and Te-RESSA’s reaction -- over-the-top, dramatically lame, contrived performance was my first impression. I must remind you, again, that the twins just met Melissa and only one time! The twins decided to tell Melissa that I was talking poorly about Melissa -- NOT TRUE. I was candid with Melissa right to Melissa’s face about why I was upset with her for several years. She explained, it was settled, we moved on. The twins just had to negatively interject with that one. Then Te-RESSA tells Melissa my husband Jim thinks he is better than her husband and that he can't hang out with Joe Giudice because of his legal issues. Since they did not speak to my husband, I can only assume this was Bobby’s second hand, used car selling version and an attempt to be cool with the Joes and Rino. I saw the episode, and the story spun by the twins and Bobby was not an accurate representation of Jim’s comments.

Furthermore, what does that have to do with me!? I am my own person, Jim is his own person. Again, what were they trying to accomplish by saying all of this to Melissa? There is nothing honorable about these actions. They are spiteful, petty, and downright deceitful. Seems like Bobby, Jim's “best friend,” was a busy bee behind the scenes telling Rino, Te-RESSA, and Nicole exaggerated lies of why Jim did not want to go bowling and drink with people he does not know. The story the twins and Bobby told about Jim is about as real as the “necklace” Bobby supposedly gave Nicole for Christmas.

Jim only knew what he read in the papers. My husband had never met Joe Giudice and he knew Joe Gorga had been involved in fights before. So Jim’s initial reaction was to keep a distance, because he does want to be around that kind of stupidity. To Jim, physically fighting puts his family in harm’s way, and Jim will do anything to protect us. Jim did not think adding alcohol and late night bowling in NY was the best formula given the history. He would have preferred a less volatile situation, maybe a quiet dinner to get to know them. That is his choice, and I have to respect it. For viewers of last season, didn’t Joe Gorga and Joe Guidice get into a fight over calling Teresa a nasty name?

One final thought I want all of you to know about Nicole’s over-the-top reaction. This was NOT Nicole’s first time hearing this rumor. It was not the first time, because I had let her know that I had heard this rumor before. So this running out of the store with the unpurchased items still on their back, driving to my home to confront me is just bizarre. Didn’t Nicole ever hear of the telephone? The telephone is “new” technology and it works quite well. Again, hmm…and I wonder, when someone has this over-the-top reaction, doesn’t that mean the allegations are typically TRUE?

I think everyone should know about Bobby and his lies. This was definitely the hardest part to watch as he and my husband have been friends for years. Take into consideration that Bobby came to our home, played with our children, and then took a conversation out of context to look cool. Bobby is such a follower, he would do anything to be part of what he thinks is the “cool crowd.” A good friend would have said, “Jim has to work tomorrow early and sends his regards,” but that would assume Bobby had class. At the bowling alley you can imagine what Bobby told Rino. When asked why my husband was not there, Rino was so excited to tell his “new friends” what Bobby had told him. Rino said, “Do you want a lie or the truth?” Well the truth hurts. My husband does not need to buy a ticket to hang out with Joe Gorga. He stays away from adults who behave like juveniles.

Before I leave you all, I am going reiterate. NONE of us are perfect, nor do we behave in the most perfect manner sometimes. Everyone has been in situations that are similar, we are not reinventing the wheel. Yes, I am hurt and mad at myself, but this is how we learn and grow to be the best person we can be. Despite what occurred, I do not have ill feelings towards anyone. Let’s take these opportunities to forgive, to learn, to love, and to pray to become wiser. Learn from our mistakes. I love you all, I wish I could give you all a big hug. As always, thank you to my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter friends for being so supportive and kind to me. And thank you for taking this journey with all of us. "

What do you think about Amber’s blog?

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Sunday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo

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