Recap: RHONY Season 6 - Episode 5: Everybody Thinks We're Drag Queens

by: Joshua Pramuk

After last week, we knew we'd be in for an awesome episode this week. This week, we start where we left off. Heather I got you, I'll tell you that much because I would tell that crazy image consultant (who cares what her name is.) 'bitch hit me!' LuAnn says 'Who is this girl?' Carole says, 'Aviva's friend.' Heather then replies with 'EXACTLY, EXACTLY!' Heather I gotta say any friend of Aviva is no friend of mine. They are both crazier than a housewife on a bender. Heather is calling Amanda nasty, which is true. Loving the reaction Sonja is giving of Amanda's first impression. Heather joins in which makes that much more enjoyable. Amanda storms off to the only bitch she knows Aviva, BTW she is having a convo with Carole. This bitch gets right in Carole's face 'Hey miss drunk off your eyes, please remove yourself from my vicinity.' Written all over Carole's face.

Heather in her bad ass dress comes to remove the drunk from the situation. Heather asks LuAnn to get her ass in there to get rid of this bitch. LuAnn funny as f--- because I know I wouldn't want to go back in that room either!  She goes on to say I'm happy at the bar. Well, I know we all would be happy with a good drink in our hands.

Amanda calls Heather an asshole, and then the image consultant tells Heather to leave. Who does the worst image consultant in history think she is? As Heather said, this is her friend’s house. BITCH THERE IS THE DOOR #GirlBye She just called Heather insecure???? Heather is the least insecure of all the women. This is a fucking mess I've got to say, between Carole and Aviva, as well as, Heather and the non image consultant. I love how Kristen's face is something straight out of a horror movie! We see shock go to unbelievable, to wanting to run for her life. Kristen, I can only image things get even crazier this season!

Carole and Aviva are still going at it and Aviva's repetitive lines are a pain in the ass. 'You're a real well wisher.' I'm sure Carole DOES wish in a well, or at least she has in her lifetime. I'm over #BookGate, Kristen you are on to something! Aviva is making a toast about women putting pen to paper. Hey Aviva, don't you mean women who tweet, and turn long e-mails into a book?  Carole is all like this toast isn't for me. Heather and Carole are awesome friends. I agree with Heather, you don't fuck with women's careers, which is exactly what Aviva did even though she doesn't admit it. You're craziness shines through just like my divaness shines through.

So Heather tries to talk to Aviva about her lies, and of course Aviva walks away because the truth didn't and never will resonate with Aviva. Like Heather said she can't handle confronting her 'untruths' so Reid gets right in Heather's face starting shit, they won't even let her talk. It's a gang up. I am not liking it at all! Heather yassss! 'Don't tell me anything MO-THER FUUUCKER' Kristen is all like #WorstBarbequeEVER. She's like a Baptist minister at a gay club dance a thon. Sonja haha ' I'm glad me and Heather have a great chemistry because that bitch is street. You don't want to mess with her.'

Back at Sonja's borrowed house! Sonja is showing off her body to Harry, and I got to say her body is banging. #OhHarry the candy bar is back in the game! So Aviva shown up, so does Kristen and Josh and last but not least, LuAnn. Kristen's husband tell her she needs to find new friends! I'm laughing so hard at this. Don't worry, the crazy will eventually work it's way around to you, and I KNOW you will bring it!  Every time I see Kingsley or Cash I fall in love every time. So cute! Aviva, OMG never mind! This bitch Sonja's tooth just feel out. LuAnn yassss! 'Leave the denture adhesive talk somewhere else!'

The mermaid parade is coming up! Carole is the queen, she says is better than an Emmy!!! Hahaha. Aviva and Sonja are getting lazer treatment for their faces, and of course cougar Sonja thinks the doctor’s tool looks like a sexual tool. Another sign she's on speed. Kristen isn't feeling the coconut shells, I guess it is because she saw how banging Heather's body was in it. OMFG, silence of the books with these flesh looking masks on Sonja and Aviva. Aviva continues to talk b.s. Aviva don't continue to lie because it's getting you no where, you get three times what you give. Aviva, meet Karma.

Aviva and Reid, I do have to say this scene looks fake and forced. Aviva! You know your going to see Becky. So stop acting like you're hesitating. You want us to feel sorry for you, buy hey its hard when you have as Princess Carole would say #NoSoul. Kristen is inviting her glam squad to help out Carole. I have to say it's a very nice thing to do, but like Carole needs a glam squad?  Well maybe.

Sonja. Please just pick something! Back to Kristen and Carole. Carole says her eyes are beedy basically. Girl, you have beautiful eyes but I just see this turning into a festive moment for us gays, the mermaid parade that is. Sonja says she is doing Red Sonja tonight, the even funnier thing is she's trying a sheer wrap around her as a tail... Girl, you need to get your interns to do a better job or something. Tyler dressing up too? Please no shirt, and male mermaid. Please Tyler??

It's the day of the mermaid parade, and Aviva's meeting with Becky about losing her leg. I do not for a second believe that Aviva hasn't seen Becky since they were seven. Bravo is just trying to win Aviva sympathy fans. Hey it's not working with this one. Look at Carole channeling Ariel, doing it well!  Kristen and LuAnn both looking fab, Kristen with that pink wig, love it!  They end up on a drag queen float, instead of the high school cheerleader float. Kristen: 'Either this is the most progressive high school in NY, or we are clearly on the wrong float.' These bitches leave then go back to the drag queen float. It looks so much fun. I've got to say though... they thought LuAnn, Kristen, and Sonja were drag queens because I've seen better looking drag queens than Sonja.

Kristen loves the gays, girl you are a bad ass bitch! Carole is crowned and her name was announced wrong. Heather shows up late looking board room mermaid, and I love it. Aviva is talking to Becky, if that's even really the real Becky. I mean she seems more like therapist, or psychic talking about bringing back demons. Aviva this visit is not moving me, Call me a cold hearted bitch... takes one to know one. Becky, Reid, and Aviva are demonstrating to us how she lost her leg some forty years ago. Aviva didn't seem scared at all must of loaded up on xanax on the way down. Well next week, looks awesome, can't wait!

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Photo Credit: Bravo