by: Joshua Pramuk
After last week's famous bitch slap heard around the
bravo-sphere, we are in for more drama. This week we start with Stassi, and
Katie trying to sweat of the weight for the upcoming SUR photo shoot. Stassi
being wrapped in aluminum foil doesn't look fun, I want to know if that shit
really works.
Kristen and Sandoval are out having lunch and Tom doesn't
see how the text messages could be faked. Tom says the only word that matters
is Kristen's. She is continuously denying it. Tom says she is very convincing and
I have to agree, but I still believe they banged. This exchange at lunch is
awkward which makes me believe it 100%. You can tell Tom Sandavol is torn up.
In the end I hope he finds love with someone who cares, that would be my #1
Ariana Madix. The A Team forever giiiirrrl!!
So it's time for the SUR photo shoot! Stassi is saying
how it's a lot of fun, and Ariana wants lots of lashes. Girl I always knew you
had a little drag queen in you! Stassi is telling Scheana about the texts Jax
has been sending her. He said “nothing would stop me from being with you” and
Stassi replies “accept Kristen's vagina.” Stassi is the shit. Lisa is in the
building! She talks about how Kristen is excluded from the photo shoot.
Everyone, lets applaud Lisa for not being a drama queen. I think it was the
best idea that could have been made. Lisa is taking pictures with the SUR guys and
Tom Sandoval shows up forty five minutes late. Lisa isn't having it!! No honey!
#GirlBye! Honestly I feel bad for Sandavol, he puts on a brave face, but in his
interview he admits he hasn't slept. Would you want to go to a photo shoot when
you know that your best friend banged your girlfriend is going to be there? I
wouldn't want to see Jax anyway because he is such a douche nozzle.
Tom is asking Stassi for a word because he wants to know the
truth, and we all know Stassi won't hold back! Tom says he could see Stassi
borrowing Kristen's phone. Tom is in denial and it's messing him up, BAD!
Stassi is going into details AND Stassi I'm with you. It's disgusting that
Kristen covering her mouth would turn Jax on. Ugh get a room with a view, and
please don't brag anymore Jax.
Stassi says 'how are you normal right now??' Bingo!!! She
says he's insane, huge denial right now. Called that! Tom says it's fucking
Jax! The dude lies all the time! Yes Tom Sandoval, he does but why would he lie
just to destroy his whole life? I'm with Stassi on this one. Tom is asking why
Stassi is having Jax around, like it's her choice he's at the photo shoot. I've
come to conclusion that Stassi and Tom are both more hurt by what their friends
did. Friendship is a bond, and obviously Kristen has not done stuff like this
before or Tom would have already thrown her out! Stassi says to Tom 'but you
don't believe what Jax said, so what the FUCK do you care?' Like you said
Stassi, he's in denial, but deep down he believes it.
I feel horrible for Tom too. They both agree that Jax is a
piece of shit. Who doesn't? Oh great Jax talking about modeling. 'You just have
to look confused.' Well Jax that confusion is something you are really good at.
You are an idiot, the reason people don't like you Jax is because you are you.
A douche with a 'supplement' problem. (I bet Tom Sandavol gets a kick out of
that line). So they call Tom to get in the frame with Jax.. This is just
building up Tom's boiling hate for Jax. Tom calls Jax evil. What's new Tom? Lisa
is off to the side chatting with Guillermo talking about Jax and how he is the
worst friend in the world. Well maybe the second worst, Kristina Kelly is
pretty bad herself.
Naked Photo shoot, might I say Ariana, Katie, Peter, and
Stassi all look amazing. Tina McDowell damn girl who knew!! Lisa is allowing
Scheana to use SUR for her engagement party. Scheana thinks it's a bad idea if
Kristen comes, but its okay for Tom too? Scheana right now I'd be more worried
about how hurt Tom is than Kristen.
Lisa wants Stassi to apologize to Kristen for hitting her.
Stassi agrees saying she will follow up the apology with a crucifixion HAHAHA!
Stassi and Ariana's bodies are banging. Lisa is feeling bad for Tom, who
wouldn't? She decides to have a conversation with Sandoval. She brings him
water saying you probably need Vodka. Who wouldn't in that situation? It is
heartbreaking to watch, Lisa finally gets Tom to see reason. He now believes
Kristen is lying. I understand that shit happens. Tom in Vegas with that
bartender is shit happening. Kristen and Jax are calculating, evil, and just
gross!! #ICant with these bitches.
Tom confronts Kristen, she still denies it!! 'I know how you
act when you've done this in the past.' How many times have you cheated on Sandoval,
Kristen? She gets pissed storms outside to go HAM on her cig, while Tom Sandoval
goes HAM on his hair straightener!
Time for the engagement party!! Look Ken is there! SCHEANA
GIRL! That dress is killer. Ariana, love the look, orange is my favorite color
LOL. Scheana is going to sing her new song 'Good As Gold.' I really love this
song! Way to go Scheana, it’s an awesome song. Stassi says she should download
it, only illegally but still. Well at least she isn't hating on Scheana because
I love her. It was cute to see Shay get so into the song. Stassi goes outside
to apologize to Kristen, and Kristen admits it!!! They show the footage of her
lying throughout season and I got to say I think she started to believe her own
lies. Tom I applaud you for knowing Kristen couldn't face it alone. That shows
what you are made of! #AmazingStuff
Sandoval takes Jax outside to try to get his friend to see
the error of his ways, but Jax says Kristen needed to get laid, and so did he.
Meanwhile Lisa tells Kristen 'If you quit, you're doing me a favor.' The fact
that Jax is so low, the lowest of the low! I've said all season he isn't worth
air time, and this finale proves it. Sandoval tells Schwartz that he has
something to do. It's going down bitches, Jax is going to get what he deserves.
Lisa is trying to toast with Ariana, Scheana, Stassi, Katie,
and waste of air time, Kristina. When Sandoval comes over he says he has a
question, 'are we working.' Lisa basically says open your eyes, none of you are
working. The tension in this scene is so obvious. Something is going down and
it isn't going to be pretty!! At least not for Jax. Tom says to Jax dude you
never feel anything, do you feel this... dude starts swinging!!! All these
girls are trying to move but you can't run in seven inch heels!
Tom throws Jax to the ground, he could have really fucked up
Jax but he obviously held back. Jax gets up his wig is split! Thank you Sandoval!
I think everyone that watches #PumpRules wanted to see it. This is the end of
an era according to Stassi. I feel that way too. With the reunion coming up,
who knows what to expect??
Follow Joshua on Twitter: Follow @jponfire28
Vanderpump Rules airs Monday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo!
Photo Credit: Bravo
