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iRealHousewives Interviews Twitter Parody Account: The Manzo's Checkbook

Hello Readers, welcome to iRealHousewives. For the month of October in the spirit of Halloween, I’ll be posting parody interviews with some of the most hilarious Twitter parodies of the Real Housewives franchise. Please note these interviews are not meant to offend anyone, this is just for entertainment purposes only. Beware some of the questions or answers might be either, harsh, direct but it’s all for fun. It’s not intended to disrespect or offend anyone.

So far I’ve interviewed the fur fabulous parody account Jody Klaman, Caroline Wacko and Christina Ciesel. Before we start this interview, I would like to alert my readers Manzo’s Checkbook reached out to me because she wanted to speak her side of the story. We are giving Manzo’s Checkbook the opportunity to let it all in this Exclusive interview.
iRH: Hi Manzo’s Checkbook. Thank you arriving to do this interview. I know you had to walk away from Caroline’s Manzo’s purse. How are you today?
TMCB: Today is not a good day. Jacqueline put out her blog, it appears to be an attempt to not look like a lunatic who is obsessed with Teresa-major fail. I'm afraid her appearance of instability will continue to hurt the finances-which means I will continue paying the Laurita's bills until they start filming again. Why do I do I pay the Laurita's bills? Because family is important to my master Caroline-so she pays their bills so they will talk to her.
iRH: How would you describe your relationship with the Manzo’s?
TMCB: It is definitely a hate-hate relationship. I don't care for them, they hate it that I am broke, and I do embarrassing things like bounce all over town and get declined at checkout.
iRH: How would you describe the Manzo's usage of you?
TMCB: Mostly my register has debits that are cryptic. The majority say "Lauren's happiness" , as many as there are you would think the girl would be over the moon, but not so much. I think if there was more money, I would definitely fill the prescriptions for my master-Caroline. If she wouldn't take the pills that reduce bitterness and hatefulness I would!!!!! I could probably make it through the day easier.
iRH: What has been your biggest purchase that the Manzo’s have done?
TMCB: Lately we've been paying for 'life coaches' for Jac, some may call them security to keep her away from twitter, but the biggest on-going purchases are for 'friends' for the kids. I mean boyfriends, girlfriends, and just people for them to hang out with. We disguise that as salary and give them a 1040 for working at the brownstone-but it just adds to the monthly nut. Occasionally we have debits for $150.00 beers at Lookers, then a month or so later a big payout to someone named 'Sally'.
iRH: Which of the Manzo's uses you the most?
TMCB: Uses or abuses? My master Caroline writes all the checks, the others just whine around her. Occasionally I overhear blackmail threats over the phone-trust me coming up with the hush money lately has been very very tough. Thank god we finally got paid for an article, I was behind in paying Vito-when that happens he doesn't take Lauren's calls and then things get reallllllyyyyy ugly.
iRH: Has there’s been any purchases you've wished to decline?
TMCB: Yes, specifically that dress Lauren wore to the RHONJ S4 reunion? Yikes it made my eyes burn!!!!! what was worse, I had to go dress shopping with her. Not only was it horrendous for the obvious reasons, but she decided to put me in her back pocket-and let me tell you, she had a serious case of butt juice. When they say 'living hell' they are referencing that day.
iRH: Has any of the Manzo's used you for anything else besides making a purchase?
TMCB: I don't mean to keep going on about Lauren, but I have no money so until the bravo check gets in I don't get used a lot (because no one is stupid enough to take a 'post dated check') so I spend a lot of time in the bottom of my masters purse-and stuff 'sticks' to me. Lauren picks 'used' milk duds off of me, and then uses me as a toothpick. That's the worst.
iRH: What's been the most repeated purchase made from the Manzo’s?
TMCB: Well I'm a little concerned about sharing info on this one, you said 'who has been most repeated purchases' As you know the Gorgas lights where turned off, so their was a few days of pass the bikini bartender in the living room.

I am saying I do believe master Caroline is delusional in thinking a tiger can change its stripes-she had seen the mad skills of Mego and thought if anyone could do it it would be Mego (ahhemmmm wrong)
So there was a three day time period was for services performed 'handing a drink and getting a $100 tip'-what she didn't expect was that Albert Vito and Chris wouldn't leave the room for three days and that bill was huge!!!!-but Lauren honestly had the biggest tab. She had to leave and go feed, and return, but the guys didn't leave AT ALL. But Mego seeing the 'opportunity' also asked for hefty hush money because someone of them preferred to have their bikini bartenders to be men. But the check went to NJ Electric.
iRH: Have you ever been used to purchase Lap band or any types of cosmetic surgeries?
TMCB: Well, three lap bands (two of which where made of titanium) to date a couple more scheduled, fillers, ect, a LOT of man grooming for the boys. Extensive hair removal for my master-she doesn't have the nerves to shave her faces as she did in season one, and honestly is getting fearful for her safety so she has removed all sharp objects from the house.
iRH: Has the Manzo’s ever used you to the point on putting your account on overdraft?
TMCB: Hello! Where have you been for 3 years? Or the twenty before that? There is a short period after a successful refinance that I feel I can show my face in town-but it doesn't last long.
iRH: Have you ever been embarrassed by any purchases made by the Manzo's? Is so, by who?
TMCB: Mostly the checks for the kids to have friends, with facebook and twitter nothing is a secret anymore. Moving Ashlee to California and paying her rent there has helped to keep certain 'secrets'
iRH: Which of the purchases did you enjoyed assisting the Manzo’s the most?
TMCB: I was extremely excited to help the Gorgas with their light bill!!!!!!! I didn't hear Lauren whine for 3 days, Big Al, Chris, and Vito seemed very happy, I would say that was a win-win. The only part I didn't like was being in the room while my master breastfeed Albie to help him overcome the trauma.
iRH: How would you describe this season the RHONJ?
TMCB: I hid a lot from my master this year because I couldn't stand the humiliation of being broke (or honestly the bedazzled with baby teeth cover) so I feel my master took out her bitterness on other people who where not to blame-It was me she was angry with, I should have been strong like Teresa and faced Caroline, and given Teresa a break.
iRH: The Manzo boys are co-owners of BLK water. Do you feel like they didn’t give you some credit after all you did make the purchase, am I right?
TMCB: Clarification-I pay for friends, and 'friends' for the boys. I pay the rent, food, utilities for the little love shack in Hoboken. I also will say, I wrote a check to incorporate a shell company that lists BLK as a business. Now I don't want to be associated with BLK (they came up with BLK in tribute to my masters heart) even though I understand it is now a cure for autisium. I clearly see that train wreck coming down the track.
iRH: Do you feel happy being Manzo’s checkbook?
TMCB: Excuse me did you spend the morning drinking with Jacqueline or are you just a loon like her? Seriously would you be happy about your master bedazzling you with the kids baby teeth?
iRH: If you could be any other housewives checkbook from any city, who would you go to?
TMCB: First you should know I would be HONORED to be in Teresa Guidice’s fabulous bags. The way my Master, Lauren, Jac, Melissa, Joe Gorga and KatFish go on about her fabulous accessories, it is all true and more!!!!!! Every where she goes, vendors approach her asking her to please wear their fashions because she can totally rock it-and she is always so kind and grateful. It would be awesome to be with someone who put in credits ALL THE TIME, didn't write post dated checks, or didn't have to pay for her fabulous little girls to have friends.
iRH: Anything you would like to address before we wrap this interview?
TMCB: I've signed up for witness protection God willing I can get out of this hell.
iRH: Thank you for doing this interview. You may go back into Caroline Manzo’s purse!

Disclaimer: The Manzo’s Checkbook is a parody account for entertainment purposes only. No overdrafts, withdrawals, or return checks were done during the course of this interview. You can follow The Manzo’s Checkbook on Twitter at @themanzoscheckb