Hello Readers, welcome to iRealHousewives. For the month of
October in the spirit of Halloween, I’ll be posting parody interviews with some
of the most hilarious Twitter parodies of the Real Housewives franchise. Please
note these interviews are not meant to offend anyone, this is pure just for fun
and entertainment. Beware some of the questions or answers might be either,
harsh, direct but it’s all for fun. It’s not intended to disrespect anyone.
Let us begin with our first parody interview of the month. Jody Klaman is the HILARIOUS Twitter Parody Account inspired by the fabulous Real Housewife of Vancouver star Jody Claman. You can either love Jody Klaman or love to hate her. Jody always rocks her fabulous tiaras, furs coats and especially her one liners. However if you make any defamatory remark about Jody Klaman beware, because she will sue your ass in a heart beat. Don’t try to cross this Jewish Sex housewife. If you speak out of turn consider yourself sued. Here’s my exclusive interview with her.
iRH: Hi Jody
JK: Hello darling!
iRH: Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule
for the interview. How are you?
JK: You're not really worth my time but I figured I'd show
up, sniff some oxygen and see what happens. I'm fabulous. How are you?
iRH: I'm great. Can you clarify something, so our readers won't get
confused. Who is the real Jody? Jody Claman or Jody Klaman?
JK: I'm the real Jody! I mean Klaman with a 'C'? Not very
original. That poser obviously needs to see a shrink. I understand the
confusion among my fans though. Throughout the show, they repeatedly spell it
as "Claman" but that's not the way it should be. I mean wake up
morons, do you watch Ceeping up with the Cardashians? No!
iRH: You are
currently filming season 2 of the RHOV. How's that going sweetie?
JK: It's okay. I'm shocked
they have Mary back. I really didn't think anyone wanted her around for another
season. I was sick of her the first episode! It's going to be a great season.
The girls and I have some fun little adventures, I launch my cookbook and
you'll see me working on some other projects. It's great. Be sure to watch.
iRH: Speaking of your cookbook, when will that be released?
JK: I launched it this summer
at the Opus Hotel in Vancouver
iRH: Why did Mia get kicked
out?
JK: Eh, Mary. I know she had
something to do with it. I don't believe Mia did anything. Mary's so
delusional.
iRH: So there will be more Jody vs. Mary drama for the second
season. Do you think you can ever forgive her for kicking Mia out?
JK: No. Absolutely not. That
woman seriously needs some therapy. The drama definitely continues. I think the
viewers will be entertained. Our drama is quite the horny experience.
iRH: How did you react when Mia got kicked out of Mary’s
charity event?
JK: I was horrified but not surprised. I knew Mary would do
something stupid like that. Mia's never done anything wrong in her life. If you
think otherwise I WILL SUE YOUR ASS! IT WILL BE ON FIRE.
iRH: Can you give us an update on how's Mia doing?
JK: Mia is great. She's fabulous. Her M.I.A. line has done
really well. I'm very proud of her.
iRH: Why did you decide to
serve Mary, Christina and Reiko during the Season 1 reunion?
JK: Because those girls needed to learn a lesson. I'm a
strong business woman and I mean business. I wanted to show them that I will
not tolerate any defamatory comments made against me, my store or my family.
Also I thought that what they were wearing was totally tacky.
iRH: Do you ever see yourself
being friends with them at any point? Why not forgive and forget sweet cheeks?
JK: No. I prefer to have rich
friends because they're not so complicated. I think Ronnie and I are the only
legitimately wealthy ones on the show. Being seen as friends with those girls?
Now THAT can't happen. M mm. I don't... Nooo.
iRH: Why can’t you get along with Mary and Christina? They
seem lovely
JK: Christina I no longer have issues with. We've resolved
our differences and now no longer speak. She's out of the picture fucking half
of Vancouver
iRH: How would you describe your friendship with Ronnie?
JK: Um, I would say we're very strong. Very spiritual. We
have great fun being rich together.
iRH: Do you think you and Reiko will ever be friends again?
JK: Who? I'm afraid I don't know that name
iRH: You've been labeled as a
bully by many of your co-stars. Anything you would like to address in that
subject?
JK: I'm not a bully; I'm a strong successful business woman.
People are intimidated by me. But I worked my ass off to get to where I am and
if they don't like it, eh, go choke on a fur.
iRH: Jody. Can you tell us the definition of vintage?
JK: Vintage is anything between 20 to 100 years old.
Anything after that is antique, and before that is just your regular
out-of-date fashion.
iRH: Can you tell us what Jewish Sex means?
JK: (laughs) Jewish sex is a term used to describe an
uncomfortable or undesirable situation. Much like Mary's existence.
iRH: Do you still rock the fur coats, and tiaras? Or do you
want me to scratch this question out of the interview?
JK: NO! I will answer as I please. Of course I still wear
tiara and furs I'm a queen. A tiara, helmet, leather, latex, I'll wear what i
please
iRH: Some of your co stars had a lot to say with you wearing
many fur coats and tiaras, they even called you eccentric. Why the fascination
of fur coats?
JK: Fur is fabulous. What else am I going to wear, wool? I'm
not some poor shmuck on welfare. The only downside is they're rather heavy. But
I have assistant to schlep them around for me.
iRH: People love you and some love to hate you. What do you
have to say to the haters?
JK: Eh. They can say as they please. I really don't care
what they say. Personally I think they all need therapy.
iRH: What do you think of the American Real Housewives
shows?
JK: I've never seen them personally but i hear they're
fabulous. I'm more interested in their husbands. They're the ones funding that
fun and I'd love to bring a little of that money my way. Girl's gotta grow the business!
iRH: Will you ever consider doing a fur fashion collection
by Jody Klaman?
JK: I have one in the works as we speak! I'm working on a
fur intimates line with Mia. We have all sorts of goodies planned. Fur condoms,
bras, panties, you name it. We're calling it Karibou by Klaman as an ode to our
fur choice. It's going to be fabulous. Very high end couture.
iRH: Sounds every expensive Jody.
JK: Of course! It's fashion. If you can't afford it, you're
probably on meds. Get some therapy sweet cheeks.
iRH: What can we expect for Season 2? Did you get along with
the new girls?
JK: Lots of cat fights. Very juicy. The new ones were fun. I
found one of them to be a little daft but she's a friend of Mary's so what else
are you to expect
iRH: So he big question.. Are you Jewish?
JK: What are you, stupid? Of course I am. Have you seen my
nose? (laughs) But in seriousness, yes I am Jewish
iRH: How would you describe your experience on RHOV?
JK: Some moments have been wonderful; some moments have been
not so wonderful. Mostly it's done wonderfully for my store. Except for this
one woman who keeps obsessing over me. Some nut job from Burlington
iRH: What do you say about the rumors that your boutique
selling stuff is fake or used?
JK: DO YOU SPEAK TO ME ABOUT SUCH LIES OR I WILL SUE YOU! My
stuff is real. I worked my ass off to be as successful as I am and I till not
tolerate any comments that my goods are fake. My clients spent good money at my
store and even more on merchant fees I'm supposed to pay. They don't want to
hear that my stuff is second-hand!
iRH: If you could describe your co stars in one word would
it be?
JK: Mary: basic bitch,
Ronnie: fur fabulous, Christina: gold digger, Reiko: who's that? You may have
noticed I used two words to describe my costars. That's because when you have
more, you use more
iRH: Anything you would like to say to your Twitter followers?
JK: Send me money or I'll block you on twitter. Hummer needs
gas sweet cheeks.
iRH: Anything you would like to add Jody to this interview??
JK: Some fur, glitter and Jewish sex! Maybe a lawsuit if
you've got time
iRH: Thank you Jody for the interview. I hope you enjoyed it
just as much as I did :)
JK: It was quite the horny experience. xoxo. Remember to buy
my new cookbook and follow me on Twitter!
Disclaimer: @JodyKlaman
is a parody account for entertainment purposes only. No bullying was done and
no animals were harmed during the process of the interview. Jody Klaman is
hilarious and fur fabulous. Please follow Jody Klaman on Twitter @JodyKlaman. You can also follow the “REAL”
Jody Claman on Twitter at: @JodyClaman
