Elizabeth Lyn Vargas admits watching her story unfold on the current season of The Real Housewives of Orange County has been a “traumatic experience.”
Vargas shared that discussing being raised in a religious cult during last week’s episode of the Bravo hit reality series was “one of the most difficult things” she’s “ever done” but hopes her story can “help others to heal.”
Following last week’s episode, Vargas took to Instagram Stories to address her confession.
“I'm not gonna lie, watching the show unfold every Wednesday has been a little of a traumatic experience for me,” she began. “I have all these emotions that come out of me because of the airing of the show like I'm using a filter for the heck of it because I want to, it makes my shirt,” she said with a laugh.
“It has been one of the most difficult things that I've ever done and if I can explore the possibility of being free from the chains that I have from within from the past experiences that I had that I'll see life through a different lens and I'll be a happier person, so enjoy the show, there are things on the show, they are real, so be kind.”
Vargas then answered some fan questions during an Instagram Q&A session following last week's episode of RHOC.
A fan asked, “Just want to say how inspirational your vulnerability is!! You’re helping more people”
Elizabeth replied back, “Watching each episode I want to hide in my room but then I realize that I’m not alone when I read my DM’s or I listen to other stories. I only hope that mine will help others to heal.”
During the most recent episode of RHOC, Braunwyn Windham-Burke helped Elizabeth work through a panic attack brought on by her discussing her childhood.
“From zero to 13, I was raised in this religious environment,” Vargas said during a confessional, according to
PEOPLE. “My grandmother was the head of the religious cult and my father was one of the main preachers as well.”
“As a young girl, I knew something was wrong with what was going on in this church,” she continued. “We couldn't wear anything else but this uniform. We couldn't eat anything but what they made us or what they shot. We couldn't leave the ranch — we were stuck on a commune. We couldn’t even go to a hospital, they knew how to control every single person on that property.”
“I felt for years I had to hide my sadness and show people I was happy," Elizabeth said. "And I found that laughter attracted people to me — it was easier to live in a fantasy world of happiness than live in my reality of depression.”
When Elizabeth asked if revealing her secrets made Braunwyn “think differently” of her, Braunwyn reflected on her past issues with Elizabeth.
“It just makes me think better of you because now it's like I have context for all of this,” Braunwyn said.
Photo Credit: Bravo Media/NBCUniversal