Thursday, September 6, 2018

RHONY Recap: Reunion, Part 3 [Episode 22]

by: Sam Allan from Good Tea
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Good Tea), and they do not reflect in any way those of iRealHousewives.com.

Bethenny and Carole are still fighting and I remain on #TeamSonjasVagina who we learned is really big tonight. I sympathise with Carole because Skinnygirl really is a terrible person and a dirty fighter, which is the reason we watch this show, but Bethenny has become so horrible that all her bitchy lines just started to blend into one. I used to be the biggest Bethenny loyalist but after this season she's a different person to me. Her nasal voice and inability to let Carole finish a sentence just show how she stops her from making a point in order to win the argument and be the louder one to look like she's right. It's so frustrating I couldn't handle it. Why didn't Andy tell her to STFU? We see you, Mr Cohen. 

Carole is a slow talker and can’t keep up with a fast-paced fight, especially with Bethenny who uses approximately 8957 words a minute. Neither one was talking about anything of substance and them fighting over their resumes is where I draw the line to where I don't give a fuck anymore. I’m going to miss Carole but I’m glad this feud won’t be continued next season because they would’ve had to fake a makeup and that could possibly be the only worse than this dark fight. The only thing darker than this reunion is Bethenny Frankel's under eyes in the morning. Those things are rough. 

The worst thing they were fighting about were their careers. Bethenny and Carole are both successful women in their different fields and if Bethenny allowed Carole to finish a full sentence then she would see what she meant by comparing their resumes. Carole Radziwill is a writer and a journalist, that is a career path that many people choose if Bethenny Frankel didn't know that. Carole has 3 Emmys and a Peabody award. I didn't know they just handled out Emmys to people without careers... but in Bethenny's world I'm sure anything is possible.

While Carole's resume consisted of writing, Bethenny's included being an assistant, Bethenny Bakes and Skinnygirl. What is she trying to prove by that list? Is it supposed to be superior? I didn't know being an assistant was a career, we all remember her trying to sell her Bethenny Bakes muffins in that sad supermarket. Tragic. And Skinnygirl is only a success because of her CAREER on Bravo. I'm not knocking that but who is to say that was a greater accomplishment than winning awards for journalism. They are both successful women. There's no argument needed. This was worse than the Atlanta Housewives shading each others McMansions. I know I'm here for the shade and bitchy catfights but these women should really be praising each others careers instead of tearing them down because if Ramona Singer has ever been right about one thing it's that Bethenny doesn't support other women. 

Carole calling out the Bravo blogs "that two people read" confirms my theory she went into this reunion like a school shooter, she came for everyone because she was prepared for her Housewives career to commit suicide once it was over. Writer Girl obviously knew she was going to quit which is why she yelled at Andy and honestly more power to her, I wish more Housewives would call the time on their own “careers” because at least they’d go out with a bang and call Andy out on his biased bullshit. I’m scared to comment on Andy’s unfair and uninterested behaviour in case I want to have a Bravo career in another life but I wouldn't be doing a good job at recapping if I ignored it. It would be like ignoring Dorinda’s nose or drinking problem and unlike Tinsley, you just can't forget about it. 

Andy looked like he was almost about to cream his pants when Bethenny stood up and got in Carole's face over that dumb Red Scarf fight. The beginning of every reunion starts with Andy saying "don't get off your couches" and he's always hounding Porsha/NeNe/Teresa and countless others to stay seated, but I guess it's different when his star pupil is yelling in the face of the other cast member who said he was full of shit. Going forward we need a new host or he at least needs to try and not be lodged all the way into Bethenny's asshole.

I would rather talk about Sonja's vagina and that was what we did, we learned it's bigger than her hippocampus which was a term Carole brought into this group. First LeeAnne Locken blaming her amygdala on getting angry and now Carole blaming her hippocampus for hating people who cry. What is it with Housewives blaming their oversized brain portions for their emotional problems?

Back to Sonja, who finally sold her townhouse and seems to be in a good place amongst the group. We needed a lot more Sonja that we were getting this season and if this is a sign she's leaving next season I will protest. Luann may be the glue that holds the group together but Sonja is the glue we sniff that makes us want to come back for more. Those townhouse scenes were magical and as much as I'll miss them, I'm sure Sonja will be able to recreate more iconic moments in her new place from sniffing her dirty underwear to mildly sexually harassing anyone with a penis who steps into her manor. Or some with a vagina too.

Sonja and her sexy J blamed her talking shit about Tinsley on her going cold turkey on her anti-depressants? Did Sonja really just pull a Rosanne and blame her saying whatever she wants on her medication? At least it wasn't an Ambien. Her beef with Tinsley is really a non-issue and I honestly forgot about it, much like I did Mugshot Mortimer's existence during this entire reunion, but they also discussed her beef with Dorinda. The resident slurrer tried to pretend like the family crest situation was no big deal, even though we all know it was, and stood by her comments that death is worse than divorce.

I know Sonja has been drunk rambling about her divorce, lawsuit and ex-husband since she started on this show eight long years ago but that's because her divorce WAS like a death for Lady Morgan. She didn't choose to get divorced or ever get closure on the issue so no wonder she is treating it the same way as if he died because he left and she had no choice in the matter. Sounds like a death to me. And if Sonja has talked about him for this long, who cares? Leave her alone because her talking endlessly about her old life is part of her charm. 

Carole also tried to pretend like she and Tinsley weren't friends. Do I think they are best friends? Fuck no. But they must be close enough for Carole not to completely diss their relationship on a stage full of people. Carole denying being close with Tinsley was completely about Bethenny, she just wanted to prove she was lying about another issue and Mugshot Mortimer and her freshly cut hair were just casualties in that war. But if the Coupon King won't even claim Tinsley then why should anyone else? And how is she still on the show? I'm just amazed that Tinsley has managed to stay on the best Housewives franchise for two seasons now without doing a thing. You've got to respect the hustle in some way.


The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesday nights at 8pm/7c on Bravo! For International TV Listings, click here!

Please follow Sam's shady and fun celeb blog Good Tea and follow his blog on social media via TwitterInstagram and Facebook! You can also listen to Good Tea's Podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud!

Photo Credit: Bravo

No comments :

Post a Comment