RHOC Recap: Lies In The Air, Sand In My Hair [Episode 3]

by: Sam Allan

Well where do we start with those skinny bitches from Orange County. Mmm chile this is so messy and full of shade! Who knew white girls could throw such good shade!

It started off with the OG of the OC getting her daughter Briana out of Oklahoma, and girl was Vicki funny about how much she's hates it there! Briana's baby daddy was staying in Oklahoma to tie up all the lose ends and Vicki, Briana and her kids went on a road trip to Orange County. Briana had just had surgery and had to go to hospital and damn was it was messy situation.

Meghan physically pains me. Oh lord. She's trying to get herself pregnant and watching her cry about the needles was a waste of my shady time. Obviously we know it all works out because she announced she's got a bun in the oven!

The Beadors are "downsizing" from their mansion - we see you boo! Shannon is one of my all time favourite housewives - EVER! I love her and David and how they are coming back from his shady affair. Her kids are so silly chile, and did anyone notice how cake her daughter was. Mmmm, shady boots! While Shannon is downsizing Heather is upsizing all the way for her mansion. The bitch wants to spend $7300 on a pizza oven that y'all know she'll never use, and the bitch got fancy ice? Girl bye!

The new girl Kelly gives me good vibes and she reminds me of Brandi Glanville from Beverly Hills (no shade!). Our girl Kelly went out to dinner with Tamra, Heather and Shannon and boy did they throw some shade at Kelly. They shaded her for being friends with Vicki and you can tell they all low-key don't like her ass and that shit is gonna go down because Kelly says whatever she wants and takes unfiltered to a new level. Damn and we thought Tamra was the 'outspoken one' but then along came Kelly.

Speaking of the Hottest Housewife in OC, Tamra is working out hard and she's found God - big time. Although Tamra finding God is probably better for her and society, I miss the days where she would throw a wine glass at Jeana or call Alexis "Jesus Jugs". Mmm chile!

In the final scene Kelly threw a beach party, but there was more bitch than beach, we so shady! David and Kelly had a low-key kiss, mmm we see you David, we see you! Vicki came in and the music got all serious and the bitch is still talking about a casserole! Someone get this woman a damn casserole! Heather basically cut ties with Vicki, but her rich ass is still cordial.

Longtime besties Vicki and Tamra finally had a sit-down and the OG still denied and lied about the cancer situation, come on Vicki! Vicki was on the attack and said that they all turned on her and were all apart of taking down Brooks. Mmm okay Vicki. However out of his mess Tamra forgave her, but something tells me this won't last for long! Haha mmm chile!

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The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Monday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo. For International TV Listings click here!

Photo Credit: Bravo