by: Joshua Pramuk
Lisa's Angels is the title of this episode. Whaaat? We all
know there is not one Angel on this show. The show opens with the cast talking
about doing a gay pride parade float. Lisa has the bright idea to allow Scheana
do her song for the entire parade.
Tom Sandavol, Tom Schwartz, and Jax are riding bikes. Am I
the only one who thinks it would be funny to see a gnarly bike wreck between
Jax, and Sandavol? Sandavol says how Jax is a liar, if there is anyone that
thinks Jax is not a liar you are in the one percent. Jax, you need to stay as
far away from Stassi as possible. Sandavol is apparently pissed about having to
wear the wings, and Jax says he's going to 'veto' the idea. Umm Jax you have no
power, Lisa owns your ass, you know this. OMG Sandavol! No sir, booty popping?
These guys are acting like Caddy Gays are you sure there isn't something you
need to tell us Sandavol?
Back at SUR Lisa calls a meeting. Scheana is happy and who
can blame her? After being tortured by the 'mean girls' now her ally at SUR in
Ariana. I think we actually found someone that Kristen fears. She's a breath of
fresh air. Kristen seems pissed still about Ariana and Tom, but the rumor
stated with Jax, enough said. I told you Jax your veto was going to be shut
down just like I predicted. Jax is asked to show off his tattoo of Stassi's
name which was the stupidest thing Jax has ever ever done, and Lisa finds it
cute? Puhleez.
A white float is being built. Ken Lee tells Stassi she's
good at stapling, that takes talent. I like how Stassi looks at this as falling
angels. It's pretty AWESOME. Scheana goes to studio to get a remix for her song
for the parade, she compares being a pop star to being a cheerleader. Umm no
Scheana a Pop Star is one person that can captivate millions. There is no team
involved. I really like the beat for the remix Scheana picked. It rocks. I
think the name of her album should be Werk, Twerk, Drink, F**k.
Peter and Jax are going out with two of Jax's friends Pete
and Bennett. Jax is continually hitting up these girls. He goes on to brag
about sleeping with porn stars AND strippers, no thank you no telling how many
times he has caught VD. Really hooking up with a ballerina is just another
notch on your belt. I'm getting disgusted by this whole display Jax, but on the
other hand he really needs v to switch things up. Stassi and Jax are toxic
together it's like when Bobby met Whitney all over again. It's time for the Gay
Pride Parade! Yay!! And Scheana wants the gays to love it; I think I'm going
to!
Stassi gets to dress up different from everyone else, in a
pink and jeweled burlesque outfit no less, it as the champagne queen she's rocking
it! Stassi wants to rip her ears off because of the amount of times Scheana's
song is going to be played? But a fun dance remix over, and over again
surrounded by a bunch of hot guys? I'll take your place Stassi. The cast is
being split up into two groups, Stassi and Katie's group is known as group A
(in their minds). Really I have to disagree.
On the other float there is going to be dancing, singing,
and Scheana. Stassi honey the gays love to dance, not much for horrid
pessimism. The guys (Peter, Sandavol, and Jax) are drinking and Lisa rolls up
on them she's all like 'no, no no put the beer down or have imprints of my
diamond rings in your flesh.' Okay so she didn't actually say that but she's
that intimidating. More team A, team B bs, and Ariana is killing it in her
outfit,, she is fierce honey. Katie tells Stassi straight up that Jax took home
the ballerina. Really Katie? Not the time or place, a really bitchy thing to do
just to get a rise out of Stassi. Predictably it works, Stassi starts going off
on Jax. Stassi this shouldn't be a surprise to you. If you don't want him then
get over it. I am. I can't take this constant bickering when you two aren't
even together. Go find you a nice guy, or girl for that matter and relieve that
tension girl. Jax, thank you! You can do what you want, she left you!! You tell
her. Stassi keeps raising her voice, and I'm screaming at the TV 'shut up I
can't hear Scheana's song!' which is actually an awesome remix! Scheana, her
voice sounds great and she looks good too. Stassi says 'I now believe in the
power of auto tune.' The record may be auto tuned, but her singing was not,
jealous much? Get over it your not the center of attention today.
Although it is painfully right there in front of my eyes
that you tried you’re hardest. Here we go protesters at the parade, and I'm
angry. These idiots need to GET A LIFE. Hmm the power of gay, brings out the
haters. That means things are being done RIGHT! Everyone on the float is having
the times of their lives, it makes me smile to see things happy for once on
this show. Ariana just called Lisa an 'Icon' in the gay community.
I love Lisa but ‘Icon’ is a strong word my dear. She is
highly respected. Back to SUR we go, Kristen who was noticeably absent from the
parade is sitting down now with Katie and Stassi, needlessly to say Stassi and
Katie talk her into confronting Ariana about the text messages between her and Tom.
This I want to see, Kristen actually acts afraid of Ariana and I'm digging it.
Who wouldn't be intimidated by this bad bitch? Here we go confrontation time!!
Kristen goes right up to Ariana and says 'did you ever hook-up with my boyfriend'
Ariana simply replies NO.
Kristen is asking the same question in a thousand different
ways now. She said no, what more do you want? Kristen goes on to say she wanted Ariana to act defensively. Umm okay because that makes sense. If she would act defensive she would have seemed guilty. Ariana says in her interview, that yes
she has been texting Kristen's boyfriend because that is what friends do, and
they have been friends a long time. Kristen your own insecurities are the
problem, and the fact that your BF is more of a high maintenance diva then you.
Text messages make you uncomfortable Kristen? Girls and boys
are sometimes friends. Love this freaking theory that Kristen started the whole
rumor about Ariana and Tom! BELIEVEABLE! More Jax, and Stassi? Next. You two
are not dating. Stassi says she doesn't want him. Then please. For. Us. All.
Stop! Ken, is networking with Gays. Too cute :-) Kristen is confronting Tom.
Wow she's totally flipping out I think Ariana was right. Google the nearest
psychiatrist. Get you some Xanax and Lexapro AND calm the F down. She wants to
be around Tom 24/7, WOW Kristen is done. I don't see that lasting long. Till
next week
Follow Joshua on Twitter: Follow @jponfire28
Vanderpump Rules airs Monday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo!
Vanderpump Rules airs Monday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo!
Photo Credit: Bravo
